Memoirs of a Hogwarts Sixth Year
by Completely Sirius
Summary: It all started on the platform. That stupid, bloody platform. I mean, after five years of calling someone an arrogant toerag and telling him to stick his fat head up his stupid, fit arse, it's just not right to fantasize about licking chocolate off of his equally fit chest. But who said I was doing that?
1. James Potter

Chapter One: James Potter's Bum

It all started on the platform. That stupid, bloody platform.

I'd done my best over the past five years to make it plain that I hate the snot out of him, but James Potter had chosen today to stand in front of me on Platform 9 ¾ while waiting to get onto the Hogwarts Express. Normally this would just annoy me, except I happened to look down and notice what a fit bum he had.

And legs. He had really nice legs. And a gorgey, fit bum.

I couldn't believe I was thinking about James Potter's bum. And legs.

It was probably the worst thing that had happened to me since I broke it off with Severus. I mean, after five years of calling someone an arrogant toerag and telling him to stick his fat head up his arse, it's just not right to fantasize about licking chocolate off of his equally fit chest.

But who said I was doing that?

Wowzer, his bum was fit.

As I pretended to check my watch while really staring at James's bum, Alice, my bestie, appeared at my side almost as if she'd Apparated. Which I knew she didn't. I was just distracted by the bum of a sex-god.

I couldn't believe I had just called James Potter a sex-god. Even in my _head_.

"Lily!" Alice squealed, dropping her things and throwing herself onto me in an inescapable hug. "I've missed you! Haven't seen you in, what, twelve hours?"

"It's been far too long." I laughed, ducking to the ground to pick up my bag which had slipped off of my arm, spilling its contents everywhere. As I hastily threw handfuls of make-up and other rubbish into it, I sensed that someone had moved quite close to me. I looked up to see none other than the sex-god, James Potter, crouched down and balancing on the balls of his feet, holding up a tube of my favorite lippy.

His face was so close to mine I could feel his breath caress my cheeks as he said "All right, Evans?"

Under normal circumstances, I would have narrowed my eyes into The Look that I reserved just for him, snatched the tube of lippy, and replied with a witty comeback like "I don't think that's _quite_ your shade, Jimbo." before stalking off with Alice to find the rest of the gang. However, today I had spent a good three minutes staring at the rather fit bum of one James Potter. That was anything but normal.

Instead I just stared at him. He was smiling at me, not his stupid smile, a sexy smile. Or perhaps it was the same smile and it just seemed sexy to me, the newest member of the James Potter's fabbity fab bum club.

Anyway, my usually quick-witted mind went completely blank. I knew I was being pathetic, but his sexy face and his sexy smile and his sexy hazel eyes that had bits of violet and blue in them were all too much. And he smelled absolutely wonderful, like the woody scent of a forrest, and chocolate and peppermint mixed together in ice cream-

"Evans, are you quite alright?" he asked. I became dimly aware that his smile had vanished and was replaced with a look of concern.

My mind still felt curiously blank and all I really noticed was that his voice had changed over the summer. Deepened, so that he sounded less like a boy and more like a sex-god. I guessed that this past summer was a summer of change; James Potter had gone from tolerably cute yet immature to having the world's sexiest smile and the universe's fittest bum.

Suddenly, due to a hard pinch to _my_ bum from Alice, I came to my senses.

"Of course I'm alright, Potter, why wouldn't I be?" I said with more force than I'd meant. I quickly stood up, with James and Alice following my lead, the former looking slightly confused and the latter looking stunned. I held out my hand and James lightly placed the lippy into my outstretched palm. The spots where his skin touched mine sent shivers up my arm and down my spine, but thankfully James didn't notice.

"That's the Evans I know and love." he grinned at me. I practically melted on the spot. "Did you have a nice holiday?"

Half of me wanted to flirt back and say "Not as good as yours was to you." while the other half of me wanted to jump his bones right then and there and snog him until the cows came home. However, the tiny sliver of my mind that wasn't hypnotized by James Potter's bum made me say "Yeah, it was really good, thanks for asking. And for saving my lippy. How was yours?"

Alice was staring as me, her eyes slightly wider than usual, her hands suddenly frozen in the midst of tying back her hair.

The sex-god grinned even wider, one hand in his trouser pocket as the other rumpled his already messy black hair. "Oh, it was a laugh, you know-"

He was cut off by a sharp, loud whistle that blew from the front of the train; The doors slid open and the surrounding crowd of students surged forward into it. "Well, anyway Evans, maybe I'll see you on the train then."

And with a wink he turned and boarded it.

I stood there for a few seconds, letting the other students push past me with their bulky luggage. Alice pulled my hand, mumbling something about finding an empty compartment. After we hoisted our trunks onto the train, Alice grabbed the cage containing her owl, Mercury, I lifted the basket in which Sylvester, my cat, was lightly snoring, and we boarded the train. As we walked through the train cars, trying to find an empty compartment, my thoughts were focused on my encounter with the sex-god. Granted, our conversation had been short, but for the first time in an innumerable amount of conversations James had left without asking me to go out with him. I was so absorbed that I didn't even hear Alice calling my name.

"Lily. Hey, Lily! LILY!"

"What?"

"Compartment. Empty. On your right."

"Oh!"

After lifting our things and pets into the luggage racks, we sat down across from each other in seats next to the window. I knew that Alice wanted to talk to me about what had just happened, but she had a hard time doing it as I refused to look at her; I looked out the window, out the glass bit in the compartment door, at the ceiling, under the seats-

"Lily!" she said with such force that I bumped my head on the underside of the seat as I was pulling out from under it. "Why in the name of Merlin's long, baggy trousers won't you talk to me?"

Rubbing the back of my head, I looked at her angry face as I resumed my seat.

"What is there to talk about?" I lied as I once again avoided her eyes by looking just over her right shoulder. I knew this wouldn't work for long, since Alice could always tell when I lied to her. I also knew that she knew why I was lying, and I couldn't help but look at her.

Mistake.

"You like him, don't you?"

I decided to play dumb. "Who?"

"James Bloody Potter, that's- ahhmmurhhhhhh!"

I practically threw myself onto her, clamping my hands tightly over her mouth.

"Alice, dear," I whispered dangerously, "I know you are not going to give this up, but I would be very grateful if you would refrain from SHOUTING IT!"

As her eyes widened in surprise and triumph, I heard a collection of loud gasps from outside of our compartment. Turning only my head, I saw a group of startled third year Ravenclaws staring at us through the glass in the door. I smiled at them until they all stumbled away, but Alice had already taken the opportunity to fight back in the only way she could.

"Ew- Alice! That was disgusting! Did you seriously just lick me?"

More pausing students. More smiles of assurance.

"Maybe." She said as I once again resumed my seat.

"Ugh, Alice that was so gross! _Scourgify, Scourgify, Scourgify_!" Pink soapy bubbles shout out of my wand as I caught them with my hand. Rubbing my hands with vigor, I glared at her, but Alice just giggled. When I was satisfied that my hands were clean, I waved my wand so that the soap vanished.

"So," Alice whispered, looking very serious for a girl who had just licked my hand, "You do like him, then? James Potter?"

"Shhh!" I glanced into the corridor to make sure no one had heard her. "Let's give him an alias or something okay? Er, what about-"

"Snuffles?"

"What we used to call Sirius Black when Macy liked him?"

"When? She still likes him!"

"Whatever, it'll work."

"Ok," Alice smiled and brushed her fringe to the side, "So you like Snuffles? As in, you want to snog him 'til the cows come home?"

I folded my arms across my chest. "Well, I don't _like_ him. Just because I think he has a very fit bum and nice legs doesn't mean that I _like_ him. I don't!" I added as Alice raised an eyebrow.

"So you don't want to snog him 'til the cows come home?"

"Snog who 'til the cows come home?" Merde. Double bloody damn. I'd know that voice anywhere. It belonged to the sex-god.

I looked around to see that three rather good-looking boys were standing in the doorway of our compartment. One of them was the sex-god, another was one Sirius Black, and the last was Frank Longbottom, Alice's current (and probably final) boyfriend. Frank pushed past my sex-god and plopped next to Alice, giving her a quick kiss on the lips before putting his arm around her shoulders. Sirius leaned against the doorjamb, looking like a model in a fashion magazine. It was infuriating how he managed to look cool in everyday situations, but I had already looked away from him and the sex-god. Somehow, I thought that if I didn't look at them I wouldn't do something stupid or embarrassing. Or both.

Too bad it was James Bloody Potter standing in that doorway. I knew it wouldn't be that easy. Following Frank's example, James sat down next to me, although he didn't put his arm around me. He simply stared at me, and I stared right back, determinedly NOT thinking about how his arms were just as nice and fit as his legs and bum.

"So, Evans" he said looking from me to Alice and back, "Who do or don't you want to snog 'til the cows come home?"

I glared at him, finally able to give him The Look. No way was he going to make me feel embarrassed about wanting to snog him 'til the cows come home. "Nobody _you_ know, se- um, Potter."

"What was that you were going to call him?" Sirius asked with a wolfish grin.

"The same thing you call you pillow when you practice snogging it, Sirius, isn't it obvious?" Frank laughed. I glared at him too. Now James was going to think that I snog my pillow and pretend that it's him.

Sensing my thoughts, Alice said "Maybe she was going to call you 'Severus' to give you a hint."

Double Merde. Not what I was thinking of, but it did the trick nicely. Too nicely, probably. James looked like Alice had slapped him. Not surprising when I think about what happened last June between Sev and James. I've tried to forget about it; Haven't had much luck.

"Er, I'm sure that's not what she meant, is it Lily?" Frank said. Oh Frank, always the peacemaker.

I looked James in the eye, so he would know that I really meant it when I said, "Of course not. James, you know I would never say that, right?"

I don't think anyone but James himself noticed that I called him by his first name. Perhaps he thought it was a slip of the tongue, or maybe I'd really just felt like calling him 'James' instead of 'Potter', because he only blinked when I said it. He shook his head slightly, and smiled again. "S'alright, Evans, you can call me whatever your heart desires."

"Where're Pinky and the Brian?" Alice asked James to get off topic.

"Who?"

"Peter and Remus, who else?"

"Oh," Sirius said, "Wormtail's saving us a compartment-"

"Unless you'd like us to join yours?" James whispered in my ear.

"- and Moony's already in the prefect compartment, bless him. If we weren't closer than Snivellus and grease I'd be forced to brand him a prat. But we know better, don't we, Prongs? He's just weird like that."

"Well, Padfoot, Frank, we'd better let these wonderful ladies be." James stood up and ran his hand through his hair. "Unless you'd like your lesser half to stay?" he added to Alice.

Squeezing Frank's knee, Alice smiled at James and said "I think you boys can live without him for a few hours."

Frank laughed and kissed her again.

Sirius had already gone back into the corridor, but James still stood in the compartment, looking down at me with the most curious expression.

"I'll see you around, Evans." And he was gone.

Alice looked at me, then to Frank, and back to me. I could tell that she was torn between the urges of snogging her boyfriend and discussing the issue of James Potter's fit bum. Finally, with a great sigh, Alice pulled Frank's arm off of her shoulders. Realizing what she was doing, Frank nodded understandingly, saying "Earmuffs, Alice?"

We had used Earmuffs on Frank multiple times before. He was actually very good about it. Whenever Alice and I wanted to talk about something without Frank hearing, he'd just put his hands over his ears and hum loudly to himself. He did't complain anymore because the last time he refused Earmuffs we had gone into a full blown discussion on our times of the month, and Frank couldn't look at us without blushing for two weeks straight.

Anyway, Frank put his hands over his ears and began to hum the song 'Bloody Love' by the band My Girlfriend is a Vampire. Alice nodded insistently at him and he closed his eyes. It was my turn to raise an eyebrow.

"He's learned to read lips." She explained. "Trust me, it's better this way."

I nodded, gulping as I did so. I knew this would be a very awkward conversation.

"So, Lily, Jam- uh, Snuffles. You like hi- uh, his bum?"

"And legs." I sadly replied. "And while he was in here I noticed that his arms are also quite fit."

Alice sighed. "Lily, how is this possible? You hated, and I mean hated James last year. What the bloody hell happened?"

I shook my head, unable to believe that we were already in the midst of a discussion like this and the train hadn't even started. For the first time in my life I was glad that I had prefect duty. "I don't know, Alice. I just saw him today on the platform and..."

"And you fell?"

"Hard and fast."

"Wow." Alice thought for a moment. "Lily, you know I love you, but I reckon, as I'm sure you also do, that you should keep this to yourself for now." I nodded in agreement. "I mean, I know he's asked you out nearly every day since we were third years, but- well, I don't want to see you get hurt. I think you should wait; find out if he still really likes you, and more importantly, find out if you really like him. And I mean _really_ like him. Sure, I think Sirius is a good-looking bloke with a good-looking bum, but I wouldn't want to date him. Wait to see if what you're feeling is love or lust. Maybe you just really want a boy. I mean," Alice blushed and looked into her lap, "Ever since things with you and Severus went South... It'd be completely normal for you to want someone who wanted you... Severus hurt you even though he liked you... Not that James is like Severus, not at all! Personally..." Alice looked up at me. I almost laughed, because I knew what she was trying to say. I didn't help her though; I hadn't forgotten that she'd licked me. "I mean to say... Well, he changed over the summer... Wait, Lily, he didn't even ask you to go out with him!" Her face light up with triumph. "Not on the platform, not in here, not once! That's definitely a sign of maturation!"

The floor of the train began to rumble. Long fingers of steam ran past the windows. Slowly, the train began to move. I stood up, knowing that I had to tell Alice one last bit of information before I left for the prefect compartment. With my hand on the doorknob, I turned to look back at her knowing it was now or never.

"Alice?" She looked up at me.

"Yeah?"

I gulped. Now or never. "Ever since I saw him on the platform today, I've been calling James Potter a sex-god in my head. Just wanted you to know."

And with that I opened the door and left.

God, she was going to kill me when I got back.

That Bloody Potter.


	2. Remus and the Dream

Chapter 2: Remus and the Dream

When I opened the door to the Prefect Compartment, I was relieved to find that I was not the last one to get there. A quick glance around the car showed me that three Slytherins, two Ravenclaws, two Gryffindors, and a Hufflepuff were all still missing. I sat in my place next to Remus, who as usual had his nose in a book.

"Hello, Lily," he said, folding down the corner of a page and stuffing the book into his pocket. "Pleasant holiday?"

"Very pleasant." I said, avoiding his eyes. "And yours?"

Remus sighed. "What did the idiot do this time?"

"Excuse me?"

"James. I asked you what he did to you to make you so cross."

I frowned. "Why do you think that Potter made me cross?"

"Because every time he does something to annoy you you talk to me like I'm not your friend."

"Well, you're not." I pointed out.

"Ouch. Way to put it gently."

"I'm sorry Remus, I- I didn't mean that!" I looked at him as the door opened, letting in the missing Hufflepuff and Ravenclaws.

Remus shrugged. "No, I know what you mean. We're more like... acquaintances." He smiled at me. "I can see how it would be hard for you to be friends with a friend of James."

"How do you mean?" I quickly said. I instantly regretted it because I thought I saw a look of comprehension in his grey eyes. However, I never got an answer because at that moment the missing Slytherins and Gryffindors burst through the door, arguing about something unintelligible. The only words I heard were "Stupid" "Arse-hole" and "Shove your head"

"Hey, you, sit down and be quiet!" A voice rang out. Everyone turned to see the new Head Girl standing up, motioning to the Head Boy beside her to do likewise. When he timidly rose, the girl glared at everyone around the room, as if she was daring them to interrupt her.

"Now," she began, smoothing the front of her skirt. "My name, for those of you who don't know me, is Hermita Clump. I am a Ravenclaw and your new Head Girl. This," she patted the shoulder of the boy beside her, who gave a weak sort of grin, "Is Prometheus Cage, the Hufflepuff who's your new Head Boy." She smiled at everyone as if she were expecting a round of applause.

Prometheus looked at us and said "Well, it's very nice to meet all of-"

"Anyway, now that introductions have been made," Hermita went on while a weary-looking Prometheus rolled his eyes. "We must continue on with our meeting." Her tone suddenly became business-like and she stood up a bit straighter. "In the past, the Society of Prefects, that's us, has worked-"

I stopped listening to her. I couldn't concentrate. My mind was in a frenzy, wondering whether Remus had guessed that I thought his mate's bum was fit. If he knew, as I suspected that he did, surely he wouldn't tell James. Or would he? With Remus, one second he was the perfect student, earning Gryffindor points for his knowledge on fighting Boggarts, and the next he was in detention for putting itching powder in the Slytherin's Quidditch robes. I didn't know if I could trust someone that unstable.

Hermita talked for about an hour. When she finally finished, we were instructed to patrol the corridors of the train for a bit before we were allowed to go back to our compartments. After an hour and a half of patrolling with Remus, which was grueling in itself because he kept smiling at me like he knew something I didn't, I was allowed to return to my compartment. When I opened the door, I found that Ariel and Macy had joined Alice and Frank.

"Lily, what's up?" Macy asked as I sat down next to Ariel.

"Stupidness. Stupid bloody stupidness."

Macy and Ariel exchanged a look of worry, as if they feared for my sanity. Alice just glared at me.

"What's stupid, Lily?" Ariel asked.

"The world, that's what." I glared right back at Alice.

"Er, well, alright." Ariel nervously said.

"Did the food trolley come by?" I asked no one in particular.

"Yeah," Macy said. "But I got you a pumpkin juice and some other things." She threw a bottle and a few packages of sweets into my lap. "Lily, please talk to us."

I looked at Alice, who was still glaring at me, obviously still angry that I had left her hanging earlier. "Er-"

"Lily is just upset about seeing Severus, aren't you, Lily?" Alice said, still glaring at me.

"Wha- Oh, um, yeah. Sorry." I pretended to cough. "Um, yeah, I saw him on the train today and it reminded me of June and I just got upset." I took a long drink of the pumpkin juice before opening a Chocolate Cauldron.

Ariel looked at me sadly, while Macy looked annoyed. This was because while Macy hated Sev, Ariel actually believed, like I did, that he had goodness in him.

"Oh, Lily I know you fancied him, but believe me, it's really for your own good." Macy snorted.

"Don't listen to her, Lily." Ariel said without looking up from her magazine, "She's just bitter."

"Excuse me?" Macy shrilled, "Bitter?"

"You're just angry that Snuffles still hasn't asked you out."

"Am not!"

"Whatever you say."

"You-"

"Oi! You two, shut it, some of us are trying to sleep here!" Frank said without opening his eyes, his head on Alice's lap.

Macy and Ariel gave him two dirty looks that he couldn't see before slumping back into their seats. I rolled my eyes and looked at Alice. _Thanks_. I mouthed to her._ I owe you one._

_Damn straight!_ she mouthed back.

"Well, I'm gonna pull a Frank and take a nap." I yawned. "Wake me when we get there, will you?"

"Sweet dreams." Alice sang. It took all of my self control, but I ignored her.

In my dream all I could see was swirling color, like I was taking a Portkey. I could hear two voices all around me. One belonged to Severus Snape; The other was my own.

"Mudblood." The word rang out, harsh and full of hate. I'd never heard Severus make a sound like that, not even to Potter. "Mudblood." Over and over the voice rang out in that same harsh cry. Then I heard my voice.

"I can't pretend anymore!" It echoed all around as if I was in some great cavern at the center of the earth. "Save your breath!"

"I'm sorry!" his voice rang out again, except the tone had changed. It was full of anguish and desperation. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"You've chosen your way, and I've chosen mine!"

The dream changed.

I was standing in the Gryffindor common room. It seemed to be completely empty, and I had just come through the portrait hole on the verge of tears. I knew instantly what would happen; I had had this dream many times before; it had haunted me all summer.

"What did you say to him, Evans?" James Potter asked me, suddenly blocking my way to the girl's dormitories.

"That's none of your damn business, Potter."

I made to push past him, but he grabbed my arm.

"You forgave him, then, for treating you like that?"

"He's my friend!"

James snorted. "Huh. I never knew it was alright for someone to call their friend a 'Mudblood'. How interesting."

"He wouldn't have had to if you hadn't provoked him!" I screamed, fighting to keep the tears in.

"So it's my fault that Snivellus called you that. Okay, yeah _that_ makes total sense! I can't believe you're actually defending him!"

"I'm not defending his actions, I'm just explaining them! If you hadn't embarrassed him like that he wouldn't have lost control!"

"So you're still friends with that tosser? Unbelievable, Evans, even for you-"

I turned away from him as hot tears slid down my cheeks. "No, for your information we're not friends anymore!" My voice broke, and sobs shook my body. I turned to look back at James so that he could see his handiwork. "So I'll thank you for reminding me how I just lost one of my best friends today!"

James moved closer to me as I cried harder than I ever had in my life. He put his hand on my shoulder, and when I didn't slap it away he held me as I sobbed against his chest. I would have yelled at him, or even slapped him, but I was too weak, too stuck in my own misery to fight him off. It felt like I was sinking into a bottomless pit of quagmire, and there was no point in fighting anymore. There was no point to anything. I had no energy for anything. Severus, my world, my shining star, was gone.

"I'm sorry, Lily, I am." He whispered into my hair as he stroked my back soothingly. "I didn't know... how close you were. I'm sorry, Lils... I'll make it right."

And that was the first time that James Potter called me by my name.


	3. Expectations, Roxanna, and the Feast

Chapter 3: Expectations, Roxanna and the Feast

"Lily? Hey, Lily, we're almost to Hogsmeade, you've got to change into your robes."

I awoke to someone gently shaking my shoulder. I unwillingly opened my eyes to see Alice and Macy getting into their robes. Ariel was beside me with her robes already on, her wavy white-blonde hair flowing around her face and down her shoulders.

"Lily, what's wrong?" Her eyes were suddenly filled with concern.

"What are you talking about?" I grumbled, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. I was surprised to find that my cheeks were wet, as if I had been crying. "Oh. Don't worry Ariel, I'm fine. Must have been from my dream or something." I mumbled as I turned away from her and pulled a fist of robes out of my trunk. "Really." I added, since she still looked worried. "I'm _fine_."

The first person I saw as I stepped off of the train was the sex-god. He looked incredibly gorgeous in his robes; I had never noticed how nicely they went with his dark hair. The orange light from the setting sun bathed his face in it's glow, and it enhanced the hazel of his eyes so that they shown with a brilliance I had never seen. He was waiting with Sirius, Remus, and Peter in the middle of a group of students waiting for carriages. As Macy finally stepped off of the train, I was swept away from him to wait for a carriage of our own.

Once Alice, Frank, Ariel, Macy, and I got into the carriage, it rumbled off towards the castle that was Hogwarts. I could see out of the window in the door that the sky was quickly darkening. By the time we reached the castle, it had changed from light blue and orange to a dark, inky indigo with bright pinpricks of shining light.

"I really hope there are pork chops." Frank said as the carriage jolted to a stop.

"There always are," Alice assured him. He jumped out of the carriage and helped each of us out of it. "Especially for such a gentleman." she giggled.

After a ridiculous little bow and a lot of hand-flourishing, Frank took Alice's hand and led the way into the entrance hall. It was much warmer inside of the castle, and I involuntarily shivered, just noticing how cold I had been.

"Here," a voice said behind me as a cloak was wrapped around my shoulders. I quickly turned, expecting to see James. The smile was wiped off of my face as I saw that it was Severus.

"Sev." I said, taken aback. I opened my mouth to thank him, but the words wouldn't come. I felt a flurry of emotions; I was embarrassed that I couldn't say the simple phrase of "Thank you", disappointed that it was Severus, not James, who had given me the cloak, and angry that Severus thought he could still talk to me like nothing had ever happened between us. He just stood there in front of me, his shoulder-length black hair falling in curtains around his thin face. Even though his nose was long and hooked, and his hair as greasy as ever, I was shocked to find that I still found him handsome. I thought that part of me had died along with our friendship. Apparently I was wrong.

"Lily," he began, "I think we need to talk-"

As soon as he spoke the anger I felt consumed me. "There's nothing to talk about, Sev."

"Lily, please," he lightly took my hand and pulled me towards a corner near the door that I knew led to the kitchens. I desperately looked for my friends, hoping one of them would come to my rescue, but they had already gone into the Great Hall. With my back to the wall I leaned against the dark grey stone, folding my arms over my chest and staring daggers up into his dark black eyes.

"Lily," Severus began again, his voice shaking slightly and his lip quivering. "I want to know, _need_ to know what I can do to make you trust me again. I would apologize a thousand times if that would make you love me again." He licked his lips, his dark eyes wide and pleading. "Please, Lily. I love you. Always have. Always will." He dropped his eyes to the ground as he squeezed my hand.

"You know," I slowly said, "That might have worked," He looked up hopefully. "If I was an idiot!" I pulled my hand from his and pushed his arm out of the way of escape. I turned in a fury, looking so dangerous that Severus backed into the wall. "You expect me to actually fall for that? Do you know how much I've cried over you?" I ripped the cloak off of my shoulders and threw it at him. "Do you know how much you tore me apart?" His mouth opened in surprise as he caught the cloak in his outstretched hands. I was screaming at him so loudly that people had stopped to watch. "But no more, Severus, no more! It's too late to apologize! I've found someone else-" I fell silent. In my anger I hadn't realized what I was saying. My chest heaving, I watched as his eyes narrowed, his mouth twisting into an ugly sneer.

"Oh, you have, had you?" he snarled "Who is it then? Potter? Or one of his lapdogs?"

I ran at him and before he could react- SLAP! He gasped in shock and pain as the back of his head smacked into the stone wall. As I raised my hand again, a hand stronger than mine grabbed my wrist.

"Lily, stop." James Potter gently said.

His words were like water on a burn. My arm went limp as I was overcome with fatigue. I still gazed at Severus, his body tense and rigid, his eyes filled with deepest loathing as he glared at James. I gave him one last look of disgust before turning away towards James. I must have staggered a bit, because James took my hand as if to steady me. Again, my hand tingled as if a jolt of electricity had struck my hand from his, and I smiled up at him. Without warning I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, and grabbed my wand from my pocket.

"_PROTEGO_!" I shouted, blocking the curse that Severus had sent at James while his back was turned. The jet of black light shot back to it's caster; Severus dodged it, and it hit the wall behind him in a burst of red and black sparks, leaving behind several small craters. His eyes found mine, and the hate in them was so strong that I had to look away. Tears filled my eyes, and before I could stop them they began to fall to the floor in thick pearly droplets.

"I have nothing more to say to you." I said with a sniffle. James took my hand again and led me away from Severus into the Great Hall, which was nearly filled. Spotting Alice at the Gryffindor table, I sat down across from her.

"There you are, Lily we were- Lily, why are you crying?" Alice asked me as James sat next to me. She turned to him as Frank handed me a handkerchief.

"Snape." he simply said. Still holding my hand, he gave it a consoling squeeze. Macy, whom I had sat next to, put an arm around my shoulders. I wiped my eyes with Frank's handkerchief, making sure that there were no runaway tears and silently thanking God that I had put on Wanda Wilke's Witches-Not-Bitches Everything-Proof Mascara that morning. When I looked up, I noticed that Alice kept rapping her knuckles on the table and shooting me quick glances. I mouthed to her _Under the table?_ She gave a small nod and whispered something to Frank.

I put my face close to James' ear. He began to turn his face toward mine, but I whispered "I just wanted to thank you, James, for saving me." And with a hard squeeze I let go of his hand. I slid underneath the long table, being careful not to bump anyone's legs or feet. Alice was waiting for me. Above us I could hear the timid steps of the first years and the quick click of Professor McGonagall's. We didn't have much time.

Alice looked at me "I don't know how you feel, but I think that this day is turning out to be really strange."

I quietly laughed. "You could say that again!" The hall went silent, and I knew that the Sorting Hat was about to sing. I quickly told her about my run-in with Severus. I told her all of the details, even the part about how my hand felt when James touched it. I also told her how I had almost called James "sex-god" on the train. When I finished talking she put a hand to her mouth. Shaking her head she whispered through her fingers so quietly that I could barely hear her "But it's impossible..."

"What's impossible?" I asked her, but she just shook her head. The loud sound of clapping reached our ears as, with a nodded agreement, we crawled back into our seats. As Professor Dumbledore rose to give his pre-dinner speech, James shot me an inquisitive look. I shrugged and tore my eyes away from him to look at Dumbledore, who was smiling pleasantly. When the last whispers died away, Dumbledore began:

"First I must welcome and congratulate all of our new students! To our old hands, who have been anxiously awaiting their supper, welcome back! There is a time to talk and a time to listen. However, now is the time to eat!"

Several students cheered as the golden platters magically filled before them. As Frank had hoped, there were pork chops, as well as potatoes in every form, steak and kidney pie, black pudding, and dishes of every imaginable vegetable. As I grabbed a plate of chicken, I noticed that the Marauders had moved to be closer to James while I was underneath the table. I also noticed a more unwelcome addition: Roxanna Pike.

Roxanna was probably the biggest flirt in the entire school, including Sirius. She was in my year and, sadly, a Gryffindor. Among the boys at school she was one of the top five subjects of conversation. This was due to her tendency to wear her skirt very, very short and to keep the top three or four buttons of her shirt undone. In their eyes she was a sex-goddess. In my eyes she was a prostitute-in-training.

Anyway, Roxanna had sauntered over to where James was sitting. Pushing a chewing Peter out of the way, she sat next to James, casually pulling up her skirt by an inch or two with her hand. Seeing this, Peter began to choke on a mouthful of beef and was only saved by Remus' quick action.

"Hey James, she said seductively. She took a banger from a nearby dish and speared it onto her fork.

"Sup," was all James could manage, as his mouth was full of potato. He glanced at her, raised an eyebrow, and looked back to me with a look that clearly said 'Can you believe this?'.

"So, how was your holiday?" Roxanna continued as she appraised the banger on her fork. She waited until James looked at her before taking a large bite.

"Oh, it was nice." he politely replied, "How was yours?"

She swallowed. "It was alright, but it could have been better, you know."

"In what way?" James asked.

"Well," she smiled devilishly, "I could have seen more of you, for starters."

I choked on my chicken. James turned to me in alarm and hit me hard on the back. Thankfully, the piece of meat went down my throat rather than across the table and onto Alice. As I coughed and took a sip of pumpkin juice on James' request, he turned back to Roxanna. I glared at her as she smiled at him.

"Wow, another instance where James Potter's come to the rescue. You're really quite the hero aren't you?" she simpered, batting her eyelashes.

"Only if you say so." He replied with a grin. I scowled even more at her, stabbing my potato with venom.

"Wow, Lily why so vicious?" Sirius suddenly said to me with his bark of a laugh. "What did that potato ever do to you?"

I turned my scowl to him. "Would you rather that I stab your hand, Sirius?"

"Somebody's in a nasty mood." Peter said in a sing-song voice. Sirius laughed again.

"Eat your pudding, Wormtail and stop being an idiot." James snapped. Sirius and Peter stared at him. In fact, everyone within a five-person radius stared at James, bits of food slowly slipping off of their forks.

James slightly flushed, but didn't back down. "Evans had a bloody awful thing happen to her earlier, and I'd say it gives her an excuse to take out frustration on her vegetables, wouldn't you?"

"What happened, Lily?" Roxanna asked, failing to mask her excitement with concern. I'd forgotten to mention that Roxanna loved gossip in any shape or size. She lived on it like Wormtail lived on cookies.

"I'd rather not say." I mumbled, glaring at her. Roxanna had already turned her attention back to James. When he reached near me to get a plate of treacle tart I pretended that I had something in my eye, but I thought that James caught a glimpse of my jealousy glare. I couldn't be sure, but for the rest of the night he looked a little too smug for his own good.

When the plates and dishes finally cleared themselves, Dumbledore stood.

"Now that your bellies are filled, I am sure that you are all very tired. I beg for just a little patience, however, while I give a few notices."

After a few minutes of notices, one of which was to introduce the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Dumbledore bade the students good night. Everyone rose from their seats, eager to fall into their warm, feather-soft four-post beds. Since I was a prefect, it was my duty to lead the younger students, especially the first-years, to the Gryffindor Tower entrance and give them the password. I was joined by a reluctant Remus, who kept looking back to where James, Sirius and Peter were hysterically laughing.

"Remember, the password's 'detergent'." I whispered to him. He nodded and passed the information to a few very small first years. When we got into the spacious common room I pointed out where the dormitories were and told everyone that they ought to get to bed. I dragged myself up the stairs to the girl's dormitories, not bothering to tell Remus I was going. I opened the door that bore a small brass sign reading "Sixth-Year Girls" and sighed in relief to find that the room I had slept in for the past five years once again remained unchanged.

The room was large, with eight four-poster beds with red hangings. I fell onto my bed out of pure exhaustion. My forehead was pounding, and my mind was racing over everything that had happened on this strange day. I found that James Potter had a fit bum, learned that Severus still fancied me, and discovered that Roxanna Pike now fancied James. I groaned and rolled over so that I was face down on the bed; I pulled my pillow over my head to block out the soft light coming from the chandelier. I heard the dull footsteps of girls on the stairs, shrieks of laughter and shrill greetings between friends. When the door to my dormitory opened, I pulled the pillow harder over my head, expecting Roxanna and her posse to skip into the room, singing about how she had flirted with my sex-god all throughout dinner and how he just _had_ to ask her to the first Hogsmeade trip. I wasn't too astonished, however, when Alice ripped the pillow off of my head and slapped my bum with it.

"Get up, get up, get up! I need to talk to you and I have less than five minutes."

"I'm tired." I complained, folding my arms around my head. Alice smacked me a few more times with the pillow.

"No, Lily, come on, sit up! Roxanna and Co. can only be held off for so long!"

This made me sit up. "Roxanna?"

Alice smiled and sat on the bed next to mine. "Yep, Frank and I persuaded the Marauders to hold her and her minions in the common room for a while. Although I don't think Sirius minded so much." She added thoughtfully. "I reckon he fancies Selene."

"James probability didn't mind either. Roxanna was flirting with him all through the feast."

"You think he fancies her?" Alice laughed. "Trust me, he doesn't."

"How do you know?" I grumbled.

I never got an answer, because at that very moment Roxanna threw open the door, closely followed by Demeter, Selene, and Mary.

"-and I wouldn't be surprised if he asks me out within the week." Roxanna chattered as she walked across the room to her bed. "I wouldn't be at all. What do you reckon?" she asked her friends as she took off her shoes.

"Rox, of course he's going to ask you out!" Selene assured her. "I mean, James Potter isn't stupid."  
"Yeah," Demeter added. "He knows that you could have any bloke you want. He'll jump at the chance to have you."

I internally vomited.

The door opened again as Ariel and Macy entered the room. I looked at Alice, rolled my eyes, and dug through my trunk for a pair of pajamas. Once I had changed, I got into bed and pulled the hangings around me, only leaving a small gap on the left side so that I could still talk to Alice. She did the same, and stared at me as we listened to Roxanna chatter about what color eyeshadow James would like best on her. Ariel and Macy were once again arguing, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. I whispered to Alice "What am I going to do? I mean, Alice..." I trailed off hopelessly, shaking my head.

"Right now you're going to go to bed," she said firmly, "And in the morning you are going to sign up for classes. As for your sex-god..." Alice sighed and shrugged her shoulders as she pulled her hangings completely closed.

I didn't take that as a good sign.


	4. Apologies and Awkward Classes

Chapter 4: Apologies and Awkward Classes

The next morning I woke up very early, much earlier than I usually do, which is early in itself. I got out of bed and looked out of the window between my bed and Ariel's. The grounds looked peaceful, the dark forrest trees swaying slightly in the breeze, the dew-covered grass glittering as the weak rays of the rising sun hit the tiny drops. A thin trickle of grey smoke rose out of Hagrid's chimney, and the glossy surface of the lake only rippled when a bird swooped down to take a drink.

I quietly sighed and tore my eyes from the window. I took extra care getting ready that morning, and was satisfied when I finished that I looked nice. Not wanting to wake anyone I quietly grabbed my bag and went down to the common room. At first glance it seemed to be empty, but as I walked to the portrait hole I was startled to find that James Potter was sitting alone in an armchair. He looked divine in his red and gold silk tie, his robes casually slouched against his shoulders, his white Oxford shirt untucked from his pants. I suddenly felt weak at the knee and silently scolded myself for letting his sex-god appearance affect me like that.

When he saw me he stood up, grabbing his bag.

"All right, Evans?" he said as he walked towards me. "I was waiting for you."

"Why?"

He nervously ran his hand through his dark hair. "Well, I owe you an apology, and I'd like to explain it to you over breakfast. Only if you want me to, though." he swiftly added.

I looked into his perfect hazel eyes, searching them for meaning. I couldn't decide if this was really happening or if I was hallucinating. He looked real enough, and his eyes were begging me to say yes.

"Er, sure." I said after a minute. James' face lit up the way it did when he stepped onto the Quidditch field. I looked down to hide my face, which was suddenly warm. "Should we go, then?"

"Yeah, I reckon we'll be the first ones there, though."

As we stepped into the corridor a thought occurred to me.

"Potter," I was careful to say, "How did you know when I would go to breakfast?"

"I didn't" he replied, looking at me with a smile. "I knew that you usually woke up early, so I got down to the common room as soon as I could to wait for you."

I couldn't help but smile up at him. "Is that a hint of chivalry I'm detecting?"

He grinned at me. "Well, I _am_ a Gryffindor."

I burst out laughing, unable to control myself. James laughed too, more at me than at his own joke. That was the first time I had ever really thought that James Potter might actually be a nice bloke. I mean, first I had hated him because he was annoying and immature. On the Hogwarts Express I was embarrassed that I fancied him, because I thought that, even though his body had bloomed into that worthy of a sex-god, his mind and basic personhood was still that of the boy who found it funny to bully Severus.

When we walked into the great hall I noticed that we were indeed one of the first ones there. We sat down next to each other at the Gryffindor table, well away from anyone else.

"So, what do you want to apologize for?" I asked as I poured myself some orange juice.

"Toast? Oh, well, there are a few things on the list." he said, reaching for a platter of rashers, eggs, and bangers after buttering a large stack of toast. "First I'd like to apologize for constantly asking you to go out with me for the past three years."

I dropped my fork with a clatter onto my plate and stared at him.

James continued as if nothing had happened. "Yeah, you see, I realized what a prat I was last night when Roxanna kept trying to flirt with me." he pushed a bit of everything onto my plate, twitching my fork to the side before filling his own. "I realized how awkward it must have made you feel, and how I should've just taken the hint after a month or two." He took a huge bite of buttered toast. I stared at him as he chewed, unable to believe my ears. After taking a sip of coffee he continued.

"Second, I want to apologize for always taking the mickey out of you and Snape. I'll say it again, I was a prat, a tosser, a bloody, full-of-himself idiot."

I shoved my face with food as if I were watching a really good footie match on television. If I was into footie, that is. My eyes wide, I nodded at him to continue as I took a bite of a rasher.

He took a long sip of coffee before looking back at me. He gulped, looking more nervous than I'd ever seen him. Looking into my eyes with what looked like every bit of courage he had, he gulped.

"Lastly, Evans, I'd like to apologize for what happened last June. I am... beyond sorry for what happened between you and Snape. And for everything that happened last night. It's all my fault that he called you that, it is, and that means that it's all my fault that you lost him." He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "I don't expect you to forgive me, or to accept my apology, but I just thought that you at least deserved to hear it." He opened his eyes and looked at me sadly.

I didn't know what to think. I had never seen James act so seriously in the past five years that I had known him. Alice was right, he _was_ beginning to show the signs of maturation.

I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder; He flinched, as if he were expecting me to hit him. When I didn't, he looked down at me in amazement, as if he'd never seen me before.

"Don't think that." I said to him, staring past his glasses into his beautiful hazel eyes, "What happened in June was inevitable. We'd been drifting apart all year..." I smiled, relieved that I had finally said it out loud.

"But if I hadn't-" James began to argue. I pressed my finger to his lips; His eyes grew wide.

"No. It's over." I pulled back my finger, trying not to think about how smooth his lips were, or how adorable he looked when he apologized to me. "I don't blame you. It was between Severus and I; It was of our own doing." I longed to reach out and touch James again, to see if his cheek was as smooth as his lips. I compromised by taking his hand, saying "Perhaps is was my fault, or maybe it was his, but it was _definitely_ not yours."

He looked down to our intertwined hands and appeared to be doubtful, as if I were playing some kind of trick on him.

"Potter," I said, "Just trust me."

These words seemed to comfort him, because he looked down at me and smiled.

"Okay."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, eating our fill as we waited for our friends to make an appearance. I had tried to talk to him about something, anything, but every time I opened my mouth I'd swallow my words. I think he was doing the same thing, because I once saw him out of the corner of my eye open his mouth as if to talk to me. When I eagerly turned to him, though, he turned it into a huge yawn.

Alice, Frank, Macy, and Ariel came down to breakfast well before the Marauders did. Macy raised an arched eyebrow when she sat across from James and I, but I just stared at her in a way so that she understood that I would explain later. Alice threw herself down next to me with an enormous yawn. Pouring herself a giant mug of coffee, she looked up to the staff table where Professor McGonagall was putting jam on her toast.

"I'd forgotten that we have to pick our classes today." she yawned.

"Wowzer, I forgot about that too!" Ariel exclaimed, clapping a hand to her cheek. "Blimey, what are you all going to take, I hadn't even thought about it!"

"I'm doing all of the Auror classes." I told her. "At least do Defense with me, will you? Merlin knows we'll need it soon."

Macy snorted. "You've got that right. I know that You Know Who's supposed to be on the DL right now, but who do the Ministry think is responsible for that Muggle killing two weeks ago?"

"What are you going to take, Alice?" I asked her as she took a bite of egg white.

"Oh, Frank and I are both taking the Auror classes too." She replied. Frank smiled at her and put his arm around her waist. "The way we figure, we'll get morally satisfying jobs with good paychecks."

"What about you, Prongs?" Frank leaned on his elbow to peer down the table at him.

"Oh, well I was actually thinking about taking the auror route as well." James told him. "It's the only thing I could ever see myself doing and enjoying."

"Wow, four Aurors." Ariel sighed. "I've got no chance with that one. I only got an "Acceptable" in Herbology."

"Oh don't worry," Macy assured her. "I got that in Transfiguration. Transformed my iguana into a Bengal tiger." We all roared with laughter.

"And how did that earn you an "Acceptable?" James choked out.

"Well, I was supposed to be vanishing it." Macy rolled her eyes. "And even though it was a good bit of magic, my tester didn't appreciate having to go to St. Mungo's to get his right hand put back on."

Just then Sirius, Remus, and Peter appeared in the entrance to the great hall. Macy stared at Sirius, smoothing her hair and checking her reflection in the back of her cereal spoon. They came down and sat around James, Sirius sitting next to a delighted Macy. Sirius ginned when he saw me sitting next to James, and he whispered something to Peter who whispered it to Remus. The three of them stared at us until I saw James shake his head slightly, glaring at the lot of them. They burst into laughter, startling the rest of the table.

"How was breakfast, Prongs?" Sirius asked him with a devilish grin.

James grinned back, bringing out his inner sex-god. "Wonderful, Padfoot. Better than yours, anyway."

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, looking confused.

James laughed. "I convo'd with mine. Yours is still going for a more... _experienced_ crowd." he tilted his head over to where Roxanna, Demeter, Selene and Mary were sitting further along down the table. Roxanna and Selene were feeding two seventh-year Ravenclaw boys bits of bangers from their forks. Demeter was chatting with Diego, Frank's best friend, while Mary stared wistfully at a boy sitting at the Hufflepuff table.

Sirius scowled at the boy Selene was feeding as if he had insulted him.

"Tough break, mate." James said. I hadn't understood a word he had previously said, but I gathered from Sirius' glower that he fancied Selene. Suddenly it all made sense; on the Hogwarts Express Frank had joked that when I almost called James 'sex-god' I meant to call him what Sirius calls his pillow when he snogs it: Selene. Alice was right.

"Oh no, no no nooooo." Ariel suddenly groaned. Most of the students had left for their classes already, but the sixth years had stuck around to get their schedule from their Heads of House. At that very moment, Professors McGonagall, Sprout, Slughorn and Flitwick had descended from the staff table.

I was the third Gryffindor to be scheduled. When McGonagall approached me, she stared down at a sheet of parchment through her wire spectacles.

"Miss Evans," she began, looking up at me with a small smile. "I see that you did very well on your examinations. I am particularly pleased with your 'Outstanding' in Transfiguration." I thanked her, and she consulted the parchment again.

"Well, Miss Evans, is it still your ambition to become an auror?"

"Yes, Professor." I instantly replied.

"Very well then... You have achieved all of the necessary grades to continue on with Potions, Charms, Herbology, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and of course, Transfiguration. Is that all, or do you wish to take additional classes?"

"Well actually, Professor," I said, "I was hoping that I would be able to take the N.E.W.T. level Astronomy class." I looked at her optimistically. "I know that it's not always offered, but all the same..."

Professor McGonagall pulled out another piece of parchment and after a quick glance stowed it back into place.

"The N.E.W.T. level Astronomy class is currently not being offered. However, if any other students request to take it, Professor Hayley may make an exception. I will get back to you by dinner."

"In the mean time, here is your schedule." She tapped her wand once onto a blank piece of parchment and handed it to me, onto which my new schedule appeared instantly.

Professor McGonagall then moved on to Selene Harper. I had a free period first thing that morning, so I waited for Alice, Frank, Macy and Ariel to get their schedules. Since Ariel's last name was Vitrophski, I had to wait for a while. We all huddled together in the entrance hall by the staircase, except for Ariel who had to rush off to Care of Magical Creatures. I discovered that I had everything (so far) with Alice and Frank, and DADA, Charms, and Herbology with Macy, who was also taking Ancient Runes and Divination.

"I wonder if Snuffles is taking any of these." she mused, twirling a piece of her long curly hair absentmindedly.

"Are you ever going to tell me who Snuffles is?" Frank asked her. "I could help you, you know."

"One day." Macy told him, "After he's asked me out."

Frank groaned. "Girls." he muttered.

Alice laughed. "Have you talked to Diego? Do you know what he's taking?"

I know that Frank answered her, but I didn't hear what he said. From my perch on the marble staircase I watched as the sex-god emerged from the Great Hall, closely followed by Sirius, Peter, and to my displeasure, Roxanna. Her arm was linked in his, and she seemed to be laughing as if she were having the time of her life. I narrowed my eyebrows and felt the corners of my mouth turn down. When I noticed the pained expression on James' face, however, I became curiously cheerful.

My first class that day was double Defense, right before lunch. I was curious to meet the new teacher, Professor Trout, whom I had only seen at the feast the night before. I must admit, I was even more nervous that James would be in the class. I mean, I'd had many classes with him over the years, but that was before I noticed his bum.

As Alice, Frank and I entered the corridor in which the classroom was, I was startled to see Severus, standing in front of the door, his slouched shoulders making his hair look longer than ever, his large nose buried in a thick, leather-bound book. I stopped dead in my tracks, staring at him in horror. The thought hadn't occurred to me that he might be in some of my classes.

"Hide me!" I whispered to Alice, pulling her in front of me and crouching down. I peaked at him from behind her bag and was relieved to see that he was still fixated upon his book.

"Alice, what am I going to do?" I said, my voice higher and whinier than usual.

"Er, well, just stick to Frank and I, we'll make sure he doesn't give you any trouble."

I groaned, shaking my head. "I can't do this!"

Alice suddenly pulled herself from my grasp, and turned to face me.

"Listen, Lily, he's going to find out sooner or later, since there's only one class. Second of all, and this should cheer you up, your sex-god is here."

"Really?" I straightened up and looked around, instantly spotting him with Sirius and Remus. "Well, that brightens things up a bit."

Frank rolled his eyes. "Not another one! Don't you ever get tired of these aliases?"

"No, we don't." Alice said. "Did you know that you had an alias?"

Frank grimaced. "Do I want to know what it was?"

"How do you feel about Blue Eyes?"

"Well, it's not as bad as Snuffles!" Frank laughed. "Although I'm curious as to who the sex-god is." He turned to me, "You must really fancy this bloke. It's not-"

"No no no no no." I quickly interrupted him. "No, it's not... that dude."

" 'That dude'? How many American sitcoms did you watch this summer?" Macy laughed. She and Ariel appeared as the classroom door opened. We all shuffled in, and I swore under my breath to see that only two tables remained empty. One was directly next to Severus; the other was in front of him, but next to the sex-god. Before she could even protest I pulled Alice to the table, snatching it before a group of standing Hufflepuffs could even blink. I sat down in the chair farthest from Severus, which was conveniently next to James. I could feel his sharp black eyes on by back, but I determinedly stared at the short wizard now standing at the front of the classroom. Once everyone had settled down and pulled out their copies of 'Defending in the Dark: An Advanced Guide', Professor Trout introduced himself.

"Good morning to you all. As many of you already know, I am Professor Trout, your, er, _newest_ Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Now," He said, clearing his throat,"I want you all to know that I am only staying for the year as a favor to the Headmaster. I-,er- want to make this plain to you, so that any, um, jinxes or curses that may have been placed upon this post will allow me to leave the school as healthy and... well, just the way I am today."

A few students snickered. I was obvious that Professor Trout believed in the so-called jinx on the post of DADA teacher.

"Now, during today's lesson we will be learning about the value of nonverbal spells-"

I couldn't help myself. While everyone rummaged in their bags for parchment, quills and ink to take notes, I turned to look at Severus. It was worse than I had feared. His eyes bore into mine, cold and accusing. With a sharp intake of breath I turned away from him. Once I began to take notes I realized that my hand was shaking. At the table next to mine James noticed my trembling.

_Are you alright_? he mouthed to me. I nodded, but involuntarily glanced back at Severus. His eyes had turned even colder, if that was possible, and they narrowed with pure loathing. I looked at Alice, and could tell that she was thinking the same thing: this was going to be one _very_ long year.


	5. Friends and Confrontations

Chapter Five: Friends and Confrontations

"Well, it could have been worse." Alice offered. We were in the Great Hall now, eating lunch. Or in my case, trying not to be sick.

I pushed my plate away in disgust. "I can't even eat. That was probably the worst class I've ever had."

Ariel patted my shoulder sympathetically. "It'll get better, Lily."

"Yeah," Frank said, "Don't let Snape ruin your year. He's not worth your time or attention." He took a huge bite of a sandwich piled high with meat and cheese.

I sighed and leaned my elbow on the table. "I know."

I wearily watched Roxanna further down the table, flirting her pants off with James. As I watched her something awoke in me. It wasn't jealousy or dejection or any other kind of negative feeling. It was strong and thirsty, like an unquenchable fire, and it enveloped me as a flame would parchment. It felt as if I had been dipped into a pool of hot, think dripping determination and insight. I knew what I had to do.

"You are completely right, Frank." I announced. "I will not let that idiot control my happiness."  
"Hear, hear!" Alice and Macy said, looking pleased at my sudden change in mood.

"Good for you!" Ariel cried. "You deserve better!"

"I do!" I smiled at them all, "From this second on, I will not let the past influence my future. In fact..." I stood up. The maddest impulse filled my mind, and as if my body had been taken over by some spontaneous, wild specter I walked down the table to where the sex-god was sitting with the Marauders.

Without the slightest trace of fear or embarrassment I stood behind James and tapped him on the shoulder. When his eyes fell onto my face he smiled, and the normal Lily would have turned to jelly at the sight of his brilliant hazel eyes beneath their dorky glasses and his messy black hair and his very fit arms. But this Lily was not the normal Lily.

"Alright, Evans?" the sex-god said to me, smiling that amazingly perfect smile. I grinned right back and sat down between him and Remus.

"Potter," I began, amused by their shocked faces, "I've decided to forget the past and every stupid thing you've ever said to me. I accept your apology from this morning, and I've decided that we would make excellent friends. All of us." I looked around at them and laughed; Sirius had dropped his sandwich but his hands were still in midair as if he clutched an invisible one; Remus stared at me with his mouth slightly open; Peter was rubbing his eyes and shaking his head as if I were a mirage he was trying to see through; James just stared at me, looking as sexy as ever.

"You...Are you- er- uh- wait..." Remus finally sputtered.

I smiled at him and nodded.

"You want to be friends. With us." James said the words as if they were a long-lost dream come true that he still couldn't quite believe. "You're not serious."

"Completely serious." I smiled at him. "And since we're friends now I can call you James, right?"

"Uh-huh." He nodded.

"And of course you can call me Lily now, so feel free." I stood up. "I'm going to go sit back with Alice, but since we're all friends we should consider sitting together now. Bye, Remus, Peter, Sirius, James!" And I walked away with a new spring to my step, thanking with all my heart that ghost of spontaneity.

When I sat back down next to Macy everyone stared at me as if I were a mad looney escaped from a looney bin. I smiled at them all, probably looking like a looney escaped from a looney bin. But I didn't care. I was exuberant.

"DId you just...?" Alice weakly asked me.

"I sure as hell did!" I proudly said.

"Wha...?" was all Ariel could manage to say; Macy was speechless, which was a first. Frank alone was not perturbed in the slightest.

"Nice." He said, "If you wanted a fresh start, that was definitely the best way to go. Better that you joke around with the Marauders than compare makeup spells with Roxanna and the Minions."

I laughed. Everything seemed ten times funnier than usual.

When I went off to Charms with Alice, Frank, Macy and Ariel the four Marauders joined us. We all walked through the corridors, chatting animatedly, though things between us and the Marauders were still a bit awkward. I tried to bridge the gap by first talking to Remus about prefect duty, and by the time we had reached the Charms corridor we were all talking and laughing as if we'd been friends for years. As we walked into the classroom I noticed Severus, sitting at a table with one of his Slytherin friends, talking in quiet voices. When he saw me his face remained unchanged, as if I wasn't there at all. When he found James, however, his eyes narrowed in dislike. I didn't dwell on him. I wouldn't let myself. Plus, I was sitting once again near the sex-god and his fit arms and legs and bum.

When the bell rang at the end of the lesson, I ran out of the door. I'd had an idea in the middle of the lesson. I quickly ran through the crowded hallway, deftly swerving around students and ghosts alike, following his long black hair in the sea of people. At last he turned onto a less crowded corridor. Sprinting, I skidded around the corner and continued my chase until I was right next to him.

"Hello, Severus."

He flicked his eyes to mine before looking away. Continuing to walk, I waited for a reply of some kind. When he gave none, I continued.

"So, that was some lesson, huh?" Still nothing.

"Look", I said, losing my patience. I grabbed his arm and stood in front of him, blocking his path forward. He tried to get around me, but finally gave in to my stubbornness, folding his arms.

"What do you want?" he asked, his voice full of bitterness.

I hoisted my bag higher onto my shoulder. "I want to apologize to you. For losing my temper with you last night."

Severus just stared at me, his black eyes giving away no emotion. I couldn't read his face, couldn't tell how he would react. I looked at my shoes, feeling conscious about his unwavering stare, how intensely his eyes had gazed upon me.

"Okay..." he finally said. I glanced back up at him to see that he was still staring at me.

"And, er... I, um-, well," I stuttered. I looked up at him helplessly. "Oh, this is ridiculous. Would you stop staring at me like that?" He blinked.

"I'm not staring at you," Severus glanced at the floor. "I'm just looking at you."

"No, you were staring," I insisted, "It was making me nervous."

His face suddenly changed. "I made you nervous?" he smirked.

I felt my cheeks grow warm as I glared at him and continued on.

"Anyway, if you'd like to talk to me, meet me by the painting of those skeletons playing cards after dinner. I'll be there until half-past eight." I turned and walked away.

"Lily, wait!"

The way he said my name made me pause. It brought back long gone memories of a better time, an easier time. As I turned to face him I could smell the soft scent of trees and cotton, hear the buzz of insects and the twitter of birds, feel his hand in mine and the soft prickle of grass. Before my eyes I could see what used to be, how it was meant to be. But with a blink the vision dissolved, and all I saw was the Severus of now, the future of now. The future of that past was dead.

"Sev?" I whispered breathlessly.

He swiftly walked to me and softly grasped my hands.

"Do you mean it? Is it for real?" he breathed, his face close to mine, our noses almost touching. I wanted to back away but found myself rooted to the spot. I couldn't. I wouldn't. That love was dead.

"Yes." I murmured. He was much too close. I could smell his salty, spicy skin, his sweet perfume.

As he backed away from me I leaned forward, a part of me wanting him to stay, wanting him again. I shoved these thoughts into the back of my mind, willing them to disappear. That love was dead.

"I'll be there!" And with a swish of his robes he was gone.

Needless to say, this was not at all how I had planned things. I mean, I hadn't counted on fancying James Potter's bum, hadn't counted on Roxanna also fancying James Potter's bum, and definitely hadn't believed that a part of me still loved Severus.

Merlin's pants, what was wrong with me?


	6. Conversations About Conversations

Chapter Six: Conversations About Conversations

After my... _chat_ with Severus I went to the common room, intending to hang out there during my second free period. I had figured that Alice and the gang would also be there, considering that none of them were taking Arithmancy so they would also have that period free. As I had predicted, Alice, Ariel and Macy were sitting in a cluster of comfy armchairs; Frank was talking Quidditch with Diego in front of the fireplace; none the Marauders were anywhere to be seen.

"Buggering hell!" Macy exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air, "I can't deal with this! Why in the name of my sodding Uncle Cobus did Flitwick have to give us such an awful essay for the first day? Can anybody tell me that?"

"Way to insult your own family, Mace," Alice said, looking up from her textbook. "I think you've officially frightened Lily for the day."

"No one in my family likes him, anyway" she argued. "He's a drunk and a duffer. And besides, you've never had to drag him out of your bed after he's passed out from too much eggnog on Christmas." She capped her ink bottle and threw it unceremoniously into the bag at her feet, her quill and rolled-up essay following it.

"Sit down, Lily, you've just gotten back?" Ariel asked me, patting the cushion next to her on the couch. I sat on it, my legs crossed Indian-style and by back against the arm.

"Why did you run off like that after Charms?" Alice asked.

"I just decided to have a little chat with Sev-"

"Oh, here we go again!" Macy rolled her eyes.

"-erus. What's your problem, Mace?"

She looked at the ceiling as if asking for divine help. "Lily, are you forgetting last year? Are you forgetting how much grief that sea slug caused you? And you want to talk to him? I don't understand it. It's completely barmy!"

"It's not like I was snogging him or anything!"I said defensively. Alice threw her textbook onto the floor, not bothering to close it. The book hit the floor spine-first, its pages flapping out like some kind of strange bird flying against the worn, red and gold carpet. She looked at Macy, who's eyebrows were raised in defiance.

Alice closed her eyes and slowly exhaled. "There's no point in arguing about it, Macy. And anyway, she's not going to talk to him again." She opened her eyes and gave me a dangerous look. "Right, Lily?"

"Er... Well, actually I said I'd..." I gulped and looked to Ariel for support. She glanced at me and gave a nervous chuckle.

"We c-can't really tell Lily who she can-is allowed-er... see?" Ariel stuttered dispiritedly. She gave me a wan smile before becoming very interested in Alice's fallen textbook.

"What did you say to him, Lily?" Macy demanded. "You didn't forgive the son of a-"

"Of course not!" I exclaimed loudly, making Frank and Diego jump by the grate. Diego was so badly startled that the edge of his robes fell into the fire.

"I'm just going to talk to him after dinner, that's all!" I insisted as Pandora Cage, a seventh-year girl on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, put out Diego's flaming sleeve with a spout of water from her wand.

"About what, exactly?" Alice asked. Her eyes had narrowed into small, brown slits and she looked like she could literally kill me if she wanted to.

I rolled my eyes, biting my cheek and looking over to where Diego was thanking Pandora over and over in Spanish.

"Well?"

"I was going to tell him that this year I'm starting over, that I will be friends with whoever I want to and how I don't think that I can- that we can have any sort of relationship besides polite acquaintances after what happened in June. I was just going to tell him that and nothing else. Satisfied, friendship police?"

Alice stared into my eyes; I knew that she wasn't sure if she should believe me or not. Macy, however, smiled and leaned back in her chair, looking relieved.

"Well, as long as that's _all_ you say." She said, "Don't let him make you get all sentimental or anything so you'll forgive him. I've really enjoyed _not_ seeing him constantly hanging behind you, all slumped over and drippy-looking."

"Ariel, what do you think about all of this?" Alice suddenly barked. Ariel blinked.

"Say again?"

"What do you think about Lily wanting to talk to Snape?" Alice repeated.

Ariel looked a bit uncomfortable. "Um, you really want the truth? You won't like it."

"Let me hear it." I said to her. Alice glared at me before nodding.

"Well," she started, looking into her lap, "I reckon, first of all, that Lily should be able to talk to whoever she wants, even if we don't like it. Even Severus. Let me finish!" she snapped at Macy, who had opened her mouth in retort. Smoothing her white-blonde locks, she began again.

"Also, I think Lily _should_ talk to him after dinner tonight." I looked at her in shock.

"Love," She addressed me, "You need to tell him, calmly so it'll get through his thick skull, that you don't want to associate with him anymore, that you are starting over with other friends, and that he doesn't own you. I don't know if you've noticed before, Lily, but he acts like you belong to him or something. I thought he just really liked you at first but it began to creep me out last year when I'd randomly see him watching you from behind pillars and in the shadows."

"Bravo!" Macy clapped a few times, "Ariel, darling, you've just been accepted into the 'I-Disapprove-of-My-Mate-Hanging-Around-With-That-Unhinged-Snape-Chap Association'. We've even got badges."

"Ha ha." Ariel dryly laughed. "But honestly, you wanted my opinion."

"Thanks, Ariel." I said to her. I nodded to Alice, who still looked unsure. "So, Alice my matey pal, what is going through that amazingly intelligent brain of yours?"

After a few seconds she gave a small nod, apparently deciding on something. Looking at us she gave a small smile.

"Well... Alright. But if you begin to think about forgiving that basket case please just think of June. It's only a request!"

I laughed as Alice, Ariel and I stood up, ready to go to Transfiguration. Alice picked up her textbook and threw it to Macy, telling her to get cracking on the Charms essay.

"Have fun," Macy called to us as we stopped by the portrait hole to wait for Frank and Diego, "And if any of you get an idea about the bloody Charms essay please feel free to ask to use the loo and come tell me!"

Transfiguration was one of those classes that required complete and unwavering focus. It was due partially the difficulty of the course work, but was mostly because of Professor McGonagall. Not that she was a bad teacher or anything; She was just tough. It may seem mad, but I was actually glad that this was my only class before dinner. See, James would be in all of my classes because he wanted to become an Auror as well, and I had pretty much figured that Severus would be in Transfiguration. If Sev saw me talk to James before I could explain... Well, he'd probably explode.

As to how I figured out that Sev would take Transfiguration... Well, I didn't want to admit it, not even to myself, but I knew that last year Sev had hung around with Avery and the rest of those You-Know-Who Junior Supporters. And from what I'd heard in the corridors, that crew had big plans to join You-Know-Who himself as soon as they got out of school. Now, why would this mean that Severus should take Transfiguration? Well, the way I saw it, any future Death Eater would want to take all of the classes that the future Aurors take, just so they're on the same skill level. And as much as I hated the thought, I was sure that Severus would one day become a Death Eater. It was practically branded across his forehead.

After a complicated lesson (in which we discovered that we would be expected to start casting our spells nonverbally) we dashed to Gryffindor Tower to drop off our bags before heading down to dinner. While Ariel complained about the two-foot essay we were due to hand in on Friday, my thoughts drifted off to the sex-god. He had looked _so_ lush, with his undone tie and his messy black hair and that _smile_. Although I had picked a seat to his left so that I couldn't see him when looking at McGonagall, I still found little excuses to turn to the side and stare at his incredibly fit bod. It was to my advantage that Severus needed to focus more on his Transfiguration than on his Potions, because he probably would have noticed.

When we sat down for dinner the Marauders weren't there. I was disappointed, as they had left Gryffindor Tower before we had. Sitting next to an irate Macy, who was still having trouble with the Charms essay, I glanced all along the table; They definitely weren't there.

"So how was McGog?" Macy asked, playfully elbowing me in the side.

"Well, none of us are dead. _Yet_." Alice said gravely. "And I emphasize the 'yet'."

Frank rubbed her back affectionately. "Ah, you can handle it. Although I can't speak for the rest of us. We're goners."

"Thanks, Frank." I laughed. "So Mace, how's your Charms essay coming along?"

Macy made a face and took a bread roll from a nearby basket. Buttering it furiously, she glared at the staff table.

"I hate writing about the bloody theory! I don't care what Flitwick says, it doesn't improve my charm-casting! It's ridiculous! I mean, seriously!"

"Seriously?" James Potter said, suddenly appearing behind me. I turned, seeing him, Peter and Sirius. "Prongs, I reckon she's serious."

"But I'm Sirius!" Sirius said, clutching his heart and looking mockingly affronted. "I am! Siriusly!"

"You can't be serious!" Remus joined in from across the table as James sat next to me. "You're _never _Sirius."

"Sometimes I can be Sirius." Sirius argued, a huge grin on his face. Next to me Macy laughed just a bit too loudly, but none of the boys seemed to notice. Peter sat next to James and Remus sat between Frank and Ariel, but Sirius winked and continued further down the table to where Roxanna and the Minions were sitting.

"Erm, why is Sirius joining Roxanna and the Minions?" Ariel asked the remaining Marauders as he sat next to Selene and instantly began to flirt with her.

"Let's just say he's got... interests." Remus snickered.

"About what, how to apply eyeliner?" Macy asked, looking disappointed.

Even though everyone was eating the conversation at the table was as lively as ever. Remus was telling Alice, Frank and Diego about a run-in he had with the dreaded Hermita Clump; Peter and James were discussing Gryffindor's chances of winning the Quidditch Cup; Ariel and Macy were talking about the new song My Girlfriend is a Vampire had released. I had listen to Remus for a while, but my eyes kept unwillingly searching the Slytherin table.

It was ridiculous. Here I was sitting next to a sex-god, completely able to chat him up, and I was looking for the bastard who broke my heart. There was something severely wrong with me. Hadn't I promised that I wouldn't do this to myself? Hadn't I sworn that I would never regret that night? In a rush those words filled my ears.

"_I'm sorry!"_

"_I can't pretend anymore!" _It was true, I couldn't.

"All right, Evans?"

I shook my head as if trying to rid myself of an irksome fly. "Huh?"

James Potter was looking at me. In fact, everybody was looking at me.

"Earth to Evans." He waved a hand in front of my face. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah, sorry. Guess I got lost in my thoughts." I said to him. He smiled understandingly and I instantly felt my cheeks grow warm.

"So, Evans, first day of classes. Feeling the pressure?"

"I thought you were going to call me Lily now."

He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, making it even messier. "Sorry, _Lily_. Force of habit."

"I'll get through it. What about you, with Quidditch and all?"

"Ah," He threw a hand in the air with a shrug, "Piece of cake. Now that I'm the one scheduling the practices it'll be easy."

For the first time I noticed the red and gold badge on his chest. "Wow, Quidditch Captain! I'm impressed."

He leaned in closer to me, an enormous grin on his face. It was unendurably sexy. Merlin damn him for knowing how hot he was.

"Really? I've actually impressed you?"

I shrugged, forcing myself to lean away. "Sure. It's not an impossible feat, you know."

"Bugger! I'd almost forgotten!" Macy suddenly exclaimed, clapping a hand to her forehead. "Lily, James, McGonagall wanted me to give these to you." She handed us each a small roll of parchment with our names on it. I opened mine to see that it was a note from McGonagall saying that the N.E.W.T. level Astronomy class would take place every Tuesday and Friday night from 11:30 pm to 1:00 am. I smiled in relief; this would be one class with no distractions, and by distractions I meant the sex-god and Severus.

"Yes!" James clutched his note in his fist and thrust his arm into the air. "Astronomy is a go!"

I stared at him in horror, the note slipping from my weak grasp. "What-, you-, Astronomy?" I stuttered. James grinned at me and retrieved my note from the floor.

"Woah, Evans! You're taking Astronomy too?"

"Uh huhhhhhhhhh..." I dumbly replied. I couldn't think of anything to say.

"Astronomy?" Peter scoffed. "Prongs, you're kidding right?"

"What's wrong with Astronomy?" James raised his eyebrows. Peter gulped.

"Erm, nothing. It's just- isn't it-"

"Isn't it what?"

Peter dropped his fork and rolled his eyes. "Never mind..."

"I happen to like Astronomy. It gives me an excuse to walk around the castle after curfew." James grinned at his mate, letting him know that he wasn't offended. Peter gave a small smile and took a large sip of his pumpkin juice.

"So, Evans," He turned his full attention back to me, his sex-god smile putting thoughts in my head I was glad that Severus would never see. "Excited to see the stars again?"

As he scooted closer to me I smelled his intoxicating scent of forrest and chocolate and mint. It was like a drug to me, and I felt my body long to be closer to his.

"Since when do you like the stars?" I curiously asked. I'd never seen James show any special interest in Astronomy, but then again that was one of the classes that I usually spent with Severus. Up until last year, that is.

"I would have thought it was obvious." James said tantalizingly, staring at me in such a way that I blushed into my lap.

Suddenly, Ariel loudly cleared her throat.

"Lily, don't you have to go back to the common room?" she pointedly asked, resting her chin in her hand and subtlety nodding towards the door to the entrance hall. When I casually looked over I saw Severus dart through the enormous wooden doors.

"Oh, right." I said, not able to hide my disappointment. "I'll see you all later, then."

"S'later, Evans." James waved to me as I stood up, looking put out.

I dragged myself up the marble staircase, wishing that I hadn't told Severus that I'd talk to him. I slowly walked through the castle, making my way to the meeting place. As I neared the right corridor I paused, closing my eyes and slowing my breathing. I tried to clear my mind but so much was running through my head that it was like trying to close the door to my closet. I knew I had to turn that corner, that I had to talk to him, that I had to explain everything, but it felt impossible. Somehow I managed to pluck up the strength to open my eyes and walk toward the tall, thin figure I knew to be Severus.

When he heard my footsteps he turned to face me. My breath caught in my chest and my knees felt like jelly but I kept walking.

"Lily," He said my name with such strong emotion that I had to look away, "I can't believe you came. I didn't think you would."

"Oh." I shyly responded. Sev took my hand in both of his and moved a step closer to me. He lifted it up to his face and gently brushed it with his lips. It was driving me insane, but he still had that unexplainable power over me. I felt paralyzed, like I had to rely upon his will to survive, like without him I would wither like a flower without rain.

"I've missed you so much." He murmured, his face very close to mine now. I could smell him, feel his breath on my hand. He was mesmerizing, and as his lips caressed my skin again I though of another pair of lips belonging to another person, a person with gorgeous hazel eyes and dark, messy hair.

"Er, well that's what I wanted to talk..." I trailed off as my voice grew so quiet that it was barely a whisper. I cleared my throat and shook my head a bit before starting again.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Sev." I said as I pulled back my hand and looked into his face.

He smiled wide and pulled me into an embrace. "I will never hurt you again." He whispered into my ear, his breath tickling my cheek, "Nor will anyone else. I'd rather die, Lily, then to see you in pain."

"Sev-" He pulled away, looking into my face with adoration as he pushed a piece of hair behind my ear.

"I know you can never forget it, but at least we can put it past us and move on together. Move on to the future." He put his arms around my waist and kissed me on the cheek. I stood stock still, my arms limp at my sides, refusing to touch him. The anger that had filled me the night before crept its way back into my body. I fought to keep in contained, but the memory of how Severus had tried to curse James flooded my thoughts. No one could touch _my_ sex-god. No one.

"Hold it Severus!" I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away. "I don't think we're _quite_ on the same page here."

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Sev," I sighed, taking his hands off of my waist and looking up into his dark eyes, "I can't do this."

"Do what?"

I wanted to shout _Be friends with you, idiot!_ but thought better of it.

"We're not good together, Severus." I didn't realize how much it hurt me to say those words. "There is no future for us."

He shook his head and, I couldn't believe it, smiled. "No, Lily, don't worry. We can make it. I don't care what anyone thinks, as long as I'm with you. We'll always have each other. Always, okay?"

I bit my bottom lip and looked at the ground. "No, Sev, you don't get it. I don't want to have a future with you. I can't. Not after June." I took a step back and hesitantly peaked at him. Severus just stood there, his mouth slightly open, looking so innocent and hurt that I wanted to comfort him. But I couldn't. It would totally just ruin my point.

"Lily, you don' mean-" He started, taking a step toward me with an outstretched hand before I interrupted him.

"No, Sev, it's exactly what I mean!" I asserted, barely able to keep my temper. I didn't understand why the thick dolt wouldn't just get it, and it was making me want to hit something. It must have been nearing my time of the month or something.

"Lily-"

"No." I said, my voice like the calm before a storm. "I'm starting over, Sev. This just isn't something that you can fix!" I put a hand on his shoulder. I felt it trembling beneath his robes, and I truly hated myself for what I was doing to him. He had started it, but I had to end it. For both of us.

"We _were_ friends, Sev, but not anymore. I'm going to be friends with new people, whether you like it or not, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Now he looked really pitiful, like a puppy that had been kicked or something. His bottom lip was quivering and his face had blanched. His eyes were blank like a corpse's, and for a split second I thought of hugging him, feeling his warm arms around my body, telling him that I'd forgiven him because that's what friends were for, assuring him that everything would be alright. But I couldn't. I just couldn't.

"I thought we were more than friends." He whispered so quietly that I wasn't sure if he was talking to me.

"Were we?" I lied, looking his straight into his face as I said it. He blinked, and as he did I swore that I saw a tear quickly slide down his cheek and onto the floor.

Then something in his mind seemed to click. His face suddenly became hard, his eyes narrowing and his nostrils flaring.

"It's them, isn't it? You plan on hanging around Potter, don't you? Why didn't I see it before?" He clenched his teeth and pointed an accusing finger at me. "I won't let you go out with him, Lily, he'll just hurt you! He's an idiot! No, you can't-"

"Hey!" I yelled at him, the thin thread that was my temper coming apart, "Don't you _dare, Severus Tobias Snape_,_"_ I walked up to him and jabbed my finger into his chest, "Tell me what I can and cannot do, or who I can and cannot hang out with! And who ever said that I'm going out with James Potter, because I'm not! And for your information, you thick control freak, they're not half bad!" Severus took a sharp intake of breath at these words like I'd stabbed him, which gave me a fierce pleasure.

"Don't you _know _who that slime arses around with?" He shouted, "Don't you know that they keep company with Lupin? _Don't you know what he is?_"

"So what if he is?" I retorted. "So what if he is a werewolf, Severus? I mean, I think that it's complete and utter rubbish but he's still a person, Sev! See, this is exactly why I can't be around you! You think that certain people don't matter! And I don't care what the bloody hell you say, but I'm sure as hell one of them! You hate Lupin, you hate me, got it buster?" I glared at him, breathing hard, every inch of my body tense as if I was expecting an attack.

"He's dangerous!" He yelled.

"So are you!"

"Excuse me, but is there a problem here?"

I whirled around to see none other than one Remus Lupin, standing just past the bend in the corridor, his wand steadily pointed directly at Severus. I swiftly walked toward him, searching for my wand in the pocket of my robes. Once I found it I turned around to see Severus standing in the middle of the corridor, his chest heaving as if he'd just run a marathon, his black eyes flashing and his mouth in a snarl.

"You-"

"Don't start with me, Severus. We're over." Remus began to turn with the obvious intention of walking away but I grabbed his arm with my wand-free hand and shook my head. Understanding me, we slowly backed away from Sev, our wands still pointed at him.

"What, you can't even trust me enough to turn your back to me?" He snapped.

"No, I can't." I harshly replied as we turned the corner.

When he was out of our line of vision, Remus and I looked at each other. Nodding at exactly the same time, almost as if it had been planned, we both ran, hard and fast, up the stairs and through a random door, like bats fresh out of hell.


	7. Dirty Little Secrets

**Author's Note: Hey, everyone! So, I keep forgetting to put these in my other chapters, so I'm doing it now. I know this chapter is short, and maybe I'll eventually make it longer, but in the mean time here it is. PLEASE review me! I lovelovelove reviews like chocolate-covered goodness! Anyway, on to the fanfic! (Btw, I own nothing to do with Harry Potter. All you, J.K., all you.)**

Chapter Seven: Dirty Little Secrets

We didn't stop running until we had put three floors between us and Severus. Breathing hard, Remus leaned against the wall next to a portrait of a witch riding a unicorn, wiping the sweat off of his forehead.

"Some- Gryffindors- we- are." He gasped.

"He looked as if he were about to do you in, Remus." I panted as I doubled over, my hands on my knees. "And knowing Severus, it was a very real possibility."

Remus closed his eyes and nodded, running one hand through his dirty blonde hair that was tinged with grey despite his age. After a minute, when I was finally able to breathe without sounding like a dog, I spoke to him.

"Remus, thanks for walking in like that. I have no idea what could have happened had you not saved me."

He opened his eyes and gazed at me, looking completely exhausted. "No problem, but I doubt that Severus would ever harm you."

I smiled at him. "Yeah, but who knows what _I_ would do to _him_."

Remus blinked and gave a weak chuckle. "You do cast a mean _Furnunculus_."

"That I do. Should we head back to the common room?"

"Sure." Remus said as he pushed himself off of the wall. We walked for a few minutes in a comfortable silence before Remus broke it.

"Lily?"

"Yeah?" I looked over at him as we went through a passage behind a tapestry. His grey eyes flicked over to mine.

"Thanks for sticking up for me back there. You know, when Severus said I was a..." He trailed off, looking to the floor, his cheeks turning the lightest shade of pink.

"Oh, you heard that?" I asked nervously, brushing my hair behind my ear.

"Yeah," he admitted, still looking at the ground, "Before I turned the corner."

I clapped a hand to his shoulder and he unwillingly looked up at me. "Don't worry about it, Remus. Even if you were a werewolf, you're still a person, and a good one at that. You don't deserve any of that shit."

Remus smiled, but his eyes remained worried.

"Honestly." I assured him. "Forget it."

"You're a good mate, Lily. No wonder-" He stopped short and cleared his throat. "Sorry."

"Er, thanks?" I said, looking at him questioningly. Remus put a hand over his eyes and shook his head. When he looked back down at me his expression was very strange.

"I can trust you, right Lily?" He asked me. His voice sounded solemn and his face was unsmiling.

"Yeah, of course."

Remus quickly grabbed my arm and dragged me into a nearby classroom. It was one of those rooms that wasn't used often, except for a quick snog or, in our case, a private word. After locking the door and making sure that Peeves wasn't there, Remus gave me a strained look and sat on top of a nearby desk, putting his face in his hands.

"I've been meaning to tell you for so long, but now that the time has come..."

I sat on the desk next to him, swinging my legs slowly back and forth. I didn't really know what to say to him, or whether to be concerned or not.

"Er, well, it's alright." I awkwardly replied.

Remus slowly shook his head. "No, it's not." He looked at me, his face pale, his eyes full or terror, "Lily, I am so scared that you'll hate me." He whispered.

"Remus!" I exclaimed, "Hey, no, I'm not going to hate you!" I turned his face toward mine and put an arm around his shoulders. "I swear it! You've done nothing to ever make me hate you!"

"You can't promise that." He sighed as he closed his eyes. "And you've got no idea how much I need you."

"Remus," I gently said. "Whatever it is I can handle it, you know."  
He inhaled deeply, opening his eyes upon exhaling. "Alright then."

Remus stood up and walked away from me. When he was a few paces away he turned, opening his mouth, but couldn't seem to get the words out. He turned his back to me again and spoke.

"Look at me, I'm acting like an idiot. What would Prongs say? Or Padfoot, or Wormtail?" With his arms behind his back he spun to face me, the fear in his eyes replaced with determination. "I'm scared to death, Lily, but now I've figured that Prongs is right; If someone can't accept me they're not worth it. I hope to God you are. Lily, I'm- I'm a..."

"Yes?" I eagerly asked, glad that he wasn't on the verge of tears anymore.

"I'm- I'm- I'm-"

"What, Remus?" I said, becoming a little annoyed, "What are you? A murderer? A thief? Gay?"

"What?" He exclaimed, his eyes growing wide with horror. "Woah woah woah, what the bloody hell-"

"Well, it's not like you're actually telling me anything, besides the fact that you're something-"

"-are you saying? I am very much attracted to women, thank you! No, what I'm trying to tell you, Lily, is that I'm-"

"-so just spit it out already!"

"-a werewolf."

Everything went quiet. It was like someone had put a silencing charm on both of us. I just stared at him, my mouth open, my hands frozen in midair where I had been wildly gesticulating. I'd never been Stunned before, but I was pretty sure that it would feel quite similar to what I was feeling at that moment.

Remus gazed at me, his mouth slightly open with the corners turned down, his hands spread open at his sides as if he were trying to show me that he wasn't carrying a weapon.

"Please say something, Lily." He begged me, taking the tiniest of steps in my direction. "Anything. Just- just tell me what you're thinking."

"I would if I was thinking anything, but I think my brain just took a holiday or something." I honestly replied, my voice sounding too high-pitched.

"What?" Remus said, giving a nervous chuckle, his eyes darting to the left then back to mine. "Well, what does that mean?"

"Remus, I couldn't tell you."

He squeezed his eyes closed and put a hand to his forehead. "Wait, so is this a good reaction or a bad one? Like, are you going to hate me for all of eternity and tease me about my "time of the month" now, or are you okay with this?"

I blinked. "Uhmm-"

"God, you have to think about it?" Remus exclaimed, throwing his hands up into the air.

"No!" I protested, "It's- it's fine, Remus! I could _never_ hate you for all of eternity. Although..."

"What?" Remus asked, sounding like he was going to regret it.

I gave him a impish grin. "You really shouldn't of told me that "time of the month joke"."

"Fan-bloody-tastic." He moaned, "I swear, Lily-"

"Don't get your knickers in a twist!" I teased him, "I promise to say it no more than five times per day."

He looked at me apprehensively. "Awesome. But please, Lily, you can't tell anyone. Not even Alice, or Macy, or especially Ariel. Okay?"

I smiled at him assuredly. "You're secret's safe with me, boysie."

He smiled, looking relieved. "Good. Obviously Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail know, but besides them, Dumbledore and Madame P you're the only person here who knows."

I stood up as he walked towards the door. "I'll keep it that way."  
"Thanks very much, Lily. It feels good to know that I can trust you with this." Remus held the door open for me. "And don't worry, you can trust me too. I mean, I'll _never_ tell anyone your secret."

I stopped short, causing Remus to bump into me as he made to leave the room.

"What secret?" I asked, fighting to sound casual and unaffected.

"Oh, you know." He replied with a wink.

I grabbed him arm. "Um, no actually, I don't. Would you like to illuminate me?"

"You fancy James, Lily. It's perfectly obvious, though, if you don't mind me saying."  
"I certainly do mind!" I said as I dragged Remus right back into the classroom we had just vacated. "Why in the name of Roxanna's skimpy knickers do you think I fancy James? Because I don't. Didn't you _just_ hear me have this conversation with Severus?"

Remus frowned at me and folded his arms across his chest.

"I can't believe it! You're actually lying to me when I just told you my deepest, darkest secret!"

I ran a hand through my thick red hair. "Remus, it's complicated-"

"I haven't told him, Lily." He quietly said.

"Oh." I said, taken aback at this. "Why not?"

"Well," he admitted with a small smile, "believe it or not, I know quite a few things about dirty little secrets, having a large one myself. And I know that some secrets are simply not mine to tell." Remus grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"Fine!" I confessed, rolling my eyes, "I fancy James! Satisfied? But how did you know?"

"I really like to people watch. It's actually very informative. That's how I know about you fancying James, Macy fancying Sirius, Mary fancying Prometheus and how Robbie Shield from Ravenclaw is gay. It's all from the art of observation."

"Robbie Shields is gay?" I asked, quite shocked. "Really? I'd never think that. How d'you- Oh right, 'the art of observation'. I might have to give that a try."

Remus laughed.

"Remus, now you _swear_ that you're not going to tell him-"

"Lily, like I said, it's not my secret to tell." He insisted.

As we walked back out into the corridor I put my arm around him. "Well, you're quite the mate, Remus J, Lupin. You might even score an invite to the next Girl's Night."

He gave me a one-armed hug and sighed. "Er, please don't. You just have to keep quiet about my furry little problem."

It was my turn to laugh. "As long as you keep quiet about the identity of the sex-god, we'll be like two secretive peas in a far out pod."


	8. Blah Blah Blah

**Hey everybody! So, I've been working on this chapter for a while, but I've been really busy so it took me longer than usual to finish it. As usual I NEED your reviews. I'll remind you again at the end. Though I have to say I am very proud of my first paragraph. But that's just me, if you hate it it's fine, I'll still love it regardless. Oh boy, I'm having trouble keeping Lily and James still in that awkward "he doesn't like me" "she doesn't like me" stage. Eh, I'm rambling now, so just read it.**

Chapter Eight: BlahBlahBlah

When we got back to the common room there wasn't a seat to be found. Everyone, and I mean _everyone_ was there, talking about their new classes, discussing which teachers had assigned the most homework, and how tough they thought Professor Trout was likely to be. Girls were huddled around tables, their books open but ignored, shooting random boys quick glances before bursting into hysterics; The first years were awkwardly grouped together, trying to make conversation; A few fourth year boys were snickering in a corner, one of them holding something that looked suspiciously like a bra.

"Home sweet home, eh?" I said to Remus as he climbed through the portrait hole after me.

"What?" He yelled over the escalating volume of laughter and chitchat.

"Home. Sweet. Home, eh?" I repeated, raising my voice.

He rolled his eyes and grinned. "Looks like your mates are hanging around mine. Ready for battle?"

"Most definitely."

We fought our way through the crowd of people, stepping over students sitting on the floor, climbing over groups of chairs, using our elbows when necessary. One bruised shin later we were there. And, oh, the sex-god looked _so_ good.

"Alright, Evans?" He said to me with that melting smile. James was sitting in a scarlet armchair, his left leg over the worn out arm, honestly looking like he had dropped from the heavens. He had taken off his cloak and rolled up his sleeves so that his biceps were showing, and _holy Merlin_ was he built. Not like one of those creepo wrestlers or anything but nicely built, like enough to make you want to rip off his shirt to see if his abs were just as gorgey as his arms. He definitely hadn't been that built last year. Or had he? I was about to reply when I heard my name again.

"Lily! Oi, over here! Come on!" Macy was calling to me, making beckoning motions with her hands as Alice and Ariel behind her had nervous looks on their faces.

I thanked Remus once again and grinned apologetically at James, who looked a little disappointed but _so_ lush.  
I picked my way over Peter, who was laying belly-down on the rug in front of James and Sirius with his head on his open Charms book. As I stepped over him he raised his face in my direction, but James swiftly kicked him in the ribs before he could get a proper look up my skirt. I don't think that James knew that I had seen this, but it made my heart swell. He was defending my honor! How adorable!

When I got to the bit of rug where Macy, Ariel and Alice were sitting Macy grabbed my hand and forced me to sit down beside her.

"Okay, time to spill the beans." Alice whispered to me, "What did you-"

"_Wait!_" Ariel whispered, holding up her wand in a nonthreatening manner. "_Muffliato_."

"Okayyyyyyyyyyy." Macy said, her eyes suspicious as Ariel waved her wand in a circle, pointing outwards so that the spell would only affect those who came close to them.

"No one will hear us now!" Ariel said, her voice at it's normal volume. "One of my finer creations, definitely. Although it _does_ bring back bad memories of Severus writing it down in his potions book and telling Avery that he made it up! As if!"

Macy gasped in shock and anger. "Why that little slime-covered git! Now I _really_ want to kick him in the b-"

"So, you guys want to hear what I said to him?" I quickly interrupted her. They all nodded, even Macy, although she still seemed to be in an arse-kicking mood.

"Right. So, first I met him. Obviously." They nodded encouragingly. "And I was all confident at first, right? But when I saw him there I really didn't want to talk to him, but I did. And that was a good thing. I think."  
"You thi-" Macy began to say before Alice shushed her.

I grimaced as I remembered his face, how happy he had looked when he thought I wanted to be with him again.

"Anyway, it didn't really go as planned. No, don't worry, I told him everything!" I hastily added as they all opened their mouths. "It was just... Well, he thought I wanted to, you know, come back to him."

"You're joking." Alice said, her voice incredulous.

"No," I continued, "I turned the corner and when I got to him he took my hand and kissed it and was all 'Thank you so much, I won't hurt you again, I swear it, I can put your heart back together with this broken shoelace blah blah blah."

Ariel raised an eyebrow. "It didn't work, though. Right?"

"Huh?"

"His arse-kissing."  
I snorted. "Please, Ariel. I'm not that easy. I told him that we couldn't be together, that it would never work, but he didn't get it. I literally had to tell him that I didn't want to be with him, as a friend or anything else at all. I felt really bad about it because he looked _so_ sad. I felt like the world's biggest bitch."

"No, Lily, that's still Roxanna." Macy assured me, patting my shoulder, "What happened next?"

"Well, he got all sad and I really wanted to hug him, but I didn't. I told him I was going to hang out with new people, and he got all sad and vulnerable looking, like an abandoned puppy or something-"

"A puppy who's rolled in shit with a conk the size of Texas." Alice whispered.

"-but then all of a sudden he starts accusing me of going out with James. And then, the moron, he tells me that _he_ won't let me go out with James." My hands were flying all over the place in frustration. "I mean, who the _hell_ does he think he is? My father?"

"He's a sad sack of sorry, slimy arse with little to nothing in the trouser department." Macy said as if it were obvious.

"Could not have put it better myself!" I applauded her, "Then I tell him that the Marauders are actually nice and he goes off on me again, yelling his stupid theory about Remus, telling me that he's going to kill me in the middle of the night or whatever, and I tell the basket case that he's obviously got some mental issues that need to be taken care of when Remus himself walks around the corner. And Remus and I pulled out our wands and backed away from him and ran to the common room as soon as he was out of sight."

Alice leaned forward, her face full of amazement. "How is Remus still alive?"

"Or not gushing blood and the very least?" Macy added. She looked around at Remus as if to assure herself that he was, in fact, completely well.

I gravely shook my head. "I've no idea."  
Ariel bit her lip and looked at the carpet. "Wait, Lily, there's one thing I still don't get. You said you felt bad for him... I- does that mean- do you still fancy him?"

Macy tossed her chocolate brown hair and gave Ariel a look that clearly said I-can't-believe-you-just-played-that-card.

"Why would she still fancy him? There's nothing to fancy!"

"Well, it just sounded-"

"No, Ariel, you're right." I sighed, putting my face in my hands. "I think I do. I might. I don't know! It's-"

"Complicated." Alice and Macy said at the same time.

"Yeah."

Alice yawned and stretched her arms above her head. "Well, I can't talk about this anymore. Besides being tired, I haven't yet had a proper snog with Frank, so if you'll excuse me..." And with that Alice got up and walked over to Frank where she sat on his lap and put her arms around his neck.

I laid down on my back onto the worn carpet as Ariel raised her wand to perform the _Muffliato_ counter-spell. With a deep sigh I turned my head to the side, and there the sex-god was, laughing with his mates and looking absolutely perfect.

"Do you think I even have a chance?" Macy sighed, mistakenly thinking that I was looking at Sirius.

"Of course you do, Mace!" Ariel assured her.

"You think so?" Macy sadly replied. I opened my mouth to reply but choked on the words as Roxanna and her minions approached the Marauders, their skirts very high, their manicured hands clutching boxes of Honeydukes candy. I glanced back to Macy and Ariel, who's mouthes were opened in silent gasps of protest, but whipped my head around when I heard the sex-god speak.

"What can we do for you fine ladies?" He said in that sexy voice of his.

Roxanna put her weight on her right leg and smiled devilishly. It was sickening.

"I'm sure you could do a lot for us," She purred. I heard Ariel make a gagging noise behind me. "But we were really hoping you could help us with this problem of ours. See, we've got all of this chocolate and no one to eat it with us."  
Sirius grinned and patted his thigh. "Well, I think we can help you there."

Instantly Selene sat on his lap. Opening her box on chocolates, she plucked a piece out and put it into Sirius' open mouth. He chewed as Selene moved closer to him then made a thumbs-up sign to his mates. "It's pretty good, lads." He managed to say before he was offered another piece.

"Oh my God." I heard Macy moan, her voice muffled because she had clamped a hand to her mouth.

Ariel's face was full of disgust. "Well, at least James and Remus have the decency to look unhappy."

This was, to my immense relief, completely true. While Selene was feeding Sirius, Roxanna, Demeter and Mary had approached the rest of the Marauders. Roxanna, being the bitch of the century (as usual), sat on James' lap, leaning up so close against him that their faces were only inches apart. I wanted to melt the skin right off of her pretty little face, needless to say, but at least James looked as though he would rather be elsewhere. Demeter sat on Remus' lap, although she was allowing him to feed himself. Mary was sitting next to Peter on the floor, putting chocolate into his mouth, looking like she was being forced to smell a heap of dragon dung.

After a while I couldn't look anymore. I rolled onto my side, facing a revolted Ariel and a crushed Macy, suddenly realizing how tired I was.

"I think I'm going to go to bed." I told them as I heard Selene giggle 'Yes, I _love_ the ones with cream.' I let out an annoyed sigh as I got to my feet, straightening my skirt and giving a small wave as Ariel nodded her head in farewell.

I made it to the girl's dormitory staircase when I heard someone call my name. I recognized his voice and turned, my eyes narrowed and a hand on my hip. James Potter was making his way towards me, stepping around chairs and tables and over people on the floor, leaving a disappointed Roxanna alone in his chair.

"Yes, Potter?" I said, trying to be polite, when he finally stopped in front of me.

He grinned at me, simultaneously making my pulse quicken and my temper shorten. He took a step closer to me, putting a hand in his pocket and running the other through his hair. Looking at me through his stupid glasses he said "Are you going to bed already?"

"Yes." I replied as I looked up into his handsome face, saying it almost as if it were a question.

He took another half-a-step closer to me. "Without doing any homework? That doesn't sound like the Evans I know." He took his hand from his pocket and brushed a piece of hair behind my ear. The gesture, reminding me of Severus, brought my temper to the surface.

I slapped his hand away, saying "Maybe I'm going to do it up there to get away from you and your chocolate feeders, or hasn't your puny, little brain thought of that?" I turned to go up the stairs but he jumped around me, spreading his arms so that each hand touched a side of the doorjamb, completely blocking my way.

"Are you jealous, Evans?" He asked me, the grin on his face growing even wider.

"No!" I responded a second too late due to the fact that I was staring at his fit, muscly arms.

He could tell that I was lying, I knew it from his expression, so I ducked under one of his arms and began to run up the stairs.

"Not going to work, Evans!" I heard him call up to me. I was halfway to my dorm when the stairs suddenly shifted, becoming a slick, stone slide. I wildly waved my arms, trying not to fall, but to no avail. I slid down the slide and landed, blast it, right into the grinning sex-god's lap.

"What the _bloody hell_ did you do that for?" I cried, trying to scramble to my feet. James had his arms tight around my waist, keeping me from escaping.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you, Evans, and desperate times call for desperate measures."

I stopped my struggle and glared at him, angry at myself for enjoying my current position. "Hey, I know that we're friends now but this is _not_ friendly behavior."

"Come on, Evans, if Roxanna and the minions are bothering you come up to our dorm to study. To tell you the truth, I'm getting a bit tired of chocolate myself, so I just might join you."

I stared into his hazel eyes, and it took all of my self control not to snog him right then and there. "Get real, Potter, I'm not that easy."

"What exactly are you suggesting, Evans?" He said, his face filled with mock alarm, "You think that _I_ would make a move on you?"

I raised my eyebrows at him and he shrugged with a nod, his eyes darting to the ground as he did so. When he looked at me again his face was serious.

"Honestly, Evans, there will be little to no move making." I looked at him suspiciously and folded my arms. "Okay, _no_ move making. _And_ I'll let you have bed dibs."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Alright, but you have to at least let me get my books and such. I can't really do homework without them, can I?"

"Only if you promise to come back down here," the sex-god said, "And if you don't, you may wake up tomorrow morning to find all of your knickers M.I.A."

"You've already done that, idiot! Third year, when you stole some of our knickers and somehow they found their way into Sev's trunk!"

"Oh, right!" He cheerfully said, "Then you know the feeling."

"And fourth year, when you stole all of our bras and strung them all over the Christmas trees in the Great Hall!"

James grinned, his eyes misting over slightly. "Ah, that was an _excellent_ night! To be honest, though, I was surprised that you were a size-"

I clamped a hand over his mouth. "Are we going to study or not, Captain Knicker-Stealer?"

"Uh-huh."

I took my hand off of his mouth. "Then let me up!" James let go of my waist and I climbed out of his lap, my face red with embarrassment.

Once I was in the safety of my room I collapsed onto my bed. Buggering freak bugger shit, what the hell was I thinking? I rolled onto my stomach and glanced over to the pile on the floor that was my school bag. Groaning, I looked away from it. I suddenly felt sick. My stomach flipped and twisted as if it were training for the gymnastic Olympics and my head began to spin. I must have gotten food poisoning or something because there was no way that James Potter's amazingly fit body was doing this to me. Especially not his bum. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, and with a deep breath I sat up. I glared at my bag, as if it was forcing me to study with the sex-god, and raised my wand.

"_Accio._"

Instantly it flew into my lap. I was unnerved at how high-pitched my voice sounded. As I swung around and got off of my bed I had a very strong feeling that I would regret this in the morning.

The sex-god was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. When he saw me he grinned.

"Wow, Evans, I didn't think you'd come back down." 

"Well, isn't this just an evening of surprises then?"

He gestured to the stairs. "Ladies first."

As we climbed my heart began to pound even harder. It was so loud against my chest that I was sure James must have heard it.

I stopped at his door, nervously turning the doorknob. The door swung open.

"Wow." I sarcastically said, "You're all _way_ too neat up here." I walked into the middle of the room, stepping over piles of clothes and other rubbish, accidentally kicking a bottle of what looked suspiciously like fire whiskey. I spun around, seeing James leaning against the doorjamb. Merlin, was he good-looking.

"I know! We've all complained to Remus, but for some reason he insists on putting his pants and socks in different drawers of his wardrobe." He pointed to a bed by the far left corner, the only one in the room which was decently tidy.

"Okay, Evans, pick a bed." The sex-god said to me.

"Excuse me?" I exclaimed, putting my hands on my hips.

James laughed, "Not what I meant! Don't you remember, I gave you bed dibs. For the studying. However, if you want to study the anatomy of the body I would be more than willing-"

"Oh, sorry, but I thought you also promised me no move making. And I'm pretty sure that you just made one."

"Just pick your damn bed."

I walked over to Remus' bed and dropped my bag to the floor before flopping down onto it's feather mattress. I looked around as James sat on the bed next to Remus', grabbing his bag from the floor. Remus had a poster of My Girlfriend is a Vampire over his nightstand, and a framed wizard photograph of a young boy and girl standing next to Webster Bengal, the chaser for the Falmouth Falcons, sat next to his alarm clock.

"You a Falcon fan?" James asked me, laying on his bed with his back against the headboard.

"Nah, I've always been a Puddlemere girl."

James grinned. "What do you know, Evans, we have something in common. Except for the girl part. I was scared for a moment that you were going to say the Cannons."

I opened my Charms book then glanced up at James. He was staring at me.

"What?" I asked him, my heart fluttering nervously, "Is there something on my face?"

"No," he replied, "You're just much more interesting than Flitwick's Charms essay."

I looked down in embarrassment. "I'm not quite sure what to say to that, so I'm just going to work on the essay."

I kept my eyes on my textbook and scratched a few lines of writing onto my sheet of parchment. But it was no use. I couldn't concentrate, not when the sex-god might be staring at me. I tried to read about the theory about Memory Charms, but I soon found that I had been reading the same line over and over again. Buggering freak, what the hell was wrong with me?

"What was that?" James asked me. I looked up at him. He still hadn't started his essay.

"Sorry?"

"You just said something."

I could practically feel the blood pooling into my face. "Did I?"

"Evans, do you need help? You're looking a little stressed out."

Of course I was stressed out, I was alone in a bedroom with James Bloody Potter! I had fully planned on telling him that I was actually very tired and that I should go back to my own dorm when I felt my mouth move of it's own accord.

"Um, sure."

James grabbed his own textbook along with some parchment, ink and a quill and sat cross-legged next to me. I thought that I would have one of those panic attacks, like the kind that Tuney got when I showed her my potions ingredients. But when James began to explain it to me, everything disappeared.

Okay, I know that sounds completely mental, but it's true. All of my nerves just melted away. I mean, it wasn't instant or anything, but as we discussed and wrote and looked up facts I began to actually enjoy working with him. Soon enough both of our essays were completely finished.

James smiled at me while he capped his ink bottle. "See, Evans, that wasn't so bad."

I smiled back at him. "No, I thought Memory Charms would be a lot more complicated."

He laughed, and gently placed his still-wet essay onto his bed. I dried the ink on mine with my wand before carefully rolling it up and placing it in my bag.

"Are you looking forward to Astronomy?" He asked me. He kicked his bag beneath his bed and looked at me.

"Yeah, I've always liked it. Guilty pleasure, I guess." I shouldered my bag but didn't move. I had to ask him. "So, why did you really take it?"

James turned to face me with his hands in his pockets. "Honestly?"

"No, the third lie would be fine."

"In that case, I took it so that I could check out Professor Hayley. But if you wanted the real reason, I'd have to confess that I am fascinated by it."

I took a step closer to him. "Really?"

"Yeah." I smirked as James looked to the floor, his face slightly pink. After a moment he looked back up at me, his eyes sparkling. "They're so beautiful, the stars. They tell so many stories. I mean, those stars, that moon, they're the same stars and the same moon that shone millions of years ago. They're the same stars and the same moon that will shine years after I'm dead."

Suddenly the dormitory door banged open. We both jumped as Diego and Remus came it.

"How's the studying going?" Remus asked as he approached us.

"It was going just fine until you came in." James grumbled. Remus smirked at me before sitting on his bed, tossing his bag onto his trunk.

"Well, I'd better go." I said to James. He shrugged and walked me down the stairs to the girl's staircase. "Thanks, by the way. It was actually nice working with you."

I blushed for what felt like the millionth time as James grinned down at me. "Like you said Evans, night of surprises."

"Night, James."

"Sweet dreams, Lily."

I was on the sixth stair when I heard him call my name. I turned, half expecting him to fall to his knees, proclaiming his undying love for me.

But he didn't. He just smiled that sexy smile and ran a hand through his messy hair.

"If you ever tell anyone what I said up there, I'll regrettably have to kill you."

I couldn't help but smile as I locked my lips and threw away the key.

**REVIEW ME! Wow, that sounded desperate. I don't care, I'm begging you, REVIEW ME!**


	9. A Little Healthy Competition

Hey all! So, I've finally finished the chapter! (Woohoo!) So, I hope you enjoy it! Remember to review me! I LOVE your reviews! A LOT!

Chapter Nine: A Little Healthy Competition

The next morning breakfast was incredibly awkward. I'm going to tell you why.

The night before I had walked into my room to find Macy and Ariel sitting on my bed.

"I really don't mean to pry, Lily, but what were you doing in the boy's dormitory?" Ariel had asked me.

Macy was considerably less polite. "No, what she really means is 'What the bloody buggering hell were you doing in the boys dormitory with James Freaking Potter?' Because we can't imagine a scenario where you would _ever _go somewhere alone with him, let alone the boy's dormitory!"

I shrugged guiltily and threw my bag by the foot of my bed. "Trust me, Mace, it was nothing. I wanted somewhere quiet to work, and Potter wanted to get away from Roxanna, so we went up there to do homework. We were just working on the Charms paper-"

"Did you get very far?" Macy interrupted me.

"Yeah, we finished-"

"Can I just take a peek?"

But although Macy was easily distracted, Ariel was more of a problem. While Macy was reading over my essay, Ariel kept glancing up at me over the top of _An Extremely Detailed Guide of Magical Beasts of the North Americas. _She reminded me of how Remus had acted on the train. It was extremely annoying.

At the table I sat next to Ariel, staring glumly into the last dregs of my cereal and trying my best to ignore the increasingly violent under-the-table kicks from Alice; Ariel had told her about my study session in the boys dormitory this morning. I made a mental note to kill her.

"Ow!" I complained as Alice sent particularly painful kick to my shin. "Cut it out, or I swear on Merlin's fat arse I will curse you into next week."

"Excellent." Macy yawned, "She can see how I do on my Charms essay, come back, and tell me what I should write to make it better."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Well, Lily, as much as I believe you, if I were you I'd turn around."

"Why?"

"Probably because of me." A voice said behind me.

I jumped in surprise and turned my head to see Prometheus Cage, this year's Head Boy.

"Hey," I said, my voice apprehensive. "How's it going?"

Even though Prometheus was only a year ahead of me, I had never really spoken to him. Sure, I had admired him from behind the library bookshelves with Macy, but I had never actually had a conversation with him unless it was during a prefect's meeting. It annoyed my how nervous I was to talk to this very attractive, older (did I say attractive yet?) Hufflepuff.

He smiled at me. "Hey, you're Lily Evans, right?"

"Yeah." I said, brushing a piece of hair behind my ear. Merlin, he was one _fine_ specimen.

He put his hands in his pockets and put all of his weight on his right leg.

"So Lily, I wanted to talk to you about the patrolling schedule." He casually explained.

"Would you like to sit down?" Macy asked him from behind me, offering him the bench space next to her. I repeated her offer and we squeezed onto the bench. As Prometheus turned to talk to me Macy sent me a not so subtle wink from behind his back.

"Is something wrong with the schedule?" I asked him. As I spoke I saw Sirius whisper something to James a few seats away from us.

"Not at all," Prometheus said, oblivious to his surroundings. "But there have been a few changes. Are you free tonight?"

I felt my eyes widen in surprise. "What?"

"For prefect duty, I mean." Prometheus quickly added. The tips of his ears turned pink. Behind him many things were simultaneously happening. Macy was mouthing 'Go for the gold!', Mary was glaring at me like I had killed her puppy, and James was staring at Prometheus, his face set and hard, ignoring the fact that he had accidentally set the tablecloth on fire.

"Oh," I said to my lap. After a second I looked at him. "Well, I don't think I'd be able to patrol tonight. I've got Astronomy from 11:30 to 1."

His brow furrowed. "Hayley's offering a N.E.W.T. level Astronomy?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I can't patrol tonight. Remus could always patrol with Louis Mallard."

Prometheus glanced back to where Remus was sitting. "Actually, you won't be patrolling with Remus anymore. That's one of the changes that Hermita's insisted upon." He rolled his eyes. "She's insisted that we have inter-house patrolling, Merlin knows why."

I blinked in surprise. "Are you kidding? Please don't tell me that I'm paired with a Slytherin, Prometheus, or I swear I'll have to kill you, bring you back to life, then kill you again."

He chuckled. "No, I wouldn't be that cruel to you. Actually, you're paired with me."

I sighed in relief. "Thank you so much I- wait, I'm with you?"

He chuckled again. "Yeah. You must know that you're one of the top candidates for Head Girl next year, so Hermita's instructed me to keep an eye on you to see if you're up to it."

"You're not serious!" I exclaimed. A huge grin had taken over my face, and I completely forgot about the awkwardness surrounding the morning.

"I sure am. Are you free tomorrow night, then? For patrolling purposes only, of course." Prometheus joked.

He left after I had ecstatically agreed to meet in the entrance hall at half past eight.

"Lily you are so damn lucky!" Macy said once Prometheus was seated at the Hufflepuff table. She smacked my arm. "He's so lush! If you were to look up 'sex' in the dictionary I swear you'd see a picture of Prometheus Cage!"

"He is very good-looking." I replied. Suddenly James Potter was at Macy's side. He leaned over the table, putting his weight on his elbows so that he could properly see me.

"Evans, you must be joking."

Macy scoffed. "Oh, James, come on. Everyone knows that Prometheus Cage is the epitome of a sex god."

"Has your coffee been spiked or something, Rickman? Because Cage is nothing but a nancy boy whose head is filled with frilly knickers instead of brains."

Macy crossed her arms and glared at James, raising her right eyebrow.

"You think so? Well, lets conduct a survey. First, Ariel: Prometheus Cage, hot or not?"

Ariel squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. Her eyes flicked to Remus for the briefest of moments before she uneasily looked at Macy. "Why do I have to go first?" She whined.

"Just answer the question!"

"Fine! Well, um, I guess he's kind of-"

"Excellent!" Macy interrupted her, raising her hand with one finger lifted. She shoved her fist and finger into James' face. "You are down by _one_!"

Then she turned to me."Now, we already know that Lily would snog him, so-"

I held up my hands in front of me. "Hold it, Mace, you can't just go about saying-"

"You mean to say that there is somebody else here who you would rather snog?"

"Honestly, Macy-"

"Is there?" She insisted, waving one hand around the hall.

"Well, I-" I looked at James and felt my cheeks grow warm. He was staring right at me. "I mean, he's attractive but I don't know him well enough to-"

"You are down by TWO!" Macy shoved two fingers into James' face.

He leaned away from her, looking sullen. It was really quite sad, but all I could think about was how amazingly snogable my sex-god looked when he was moody.

Macy's behavior continued all day. She would ask random girls if they thought Prometheus Cage was a sexy beast, and nearly all of them agreed with her. Her smug smile was very wearing, and it was no wonder that by lunchtime I had a strong inclination to slap her. Alice was right there with me (although she had suggested the _Squirtono _charm, which would have made Macy's voice sound like a chipmunk so she wouldn't want to talk), but even Ariel, the most even-tempered person I knew, sat through lunch with her jaw clenched, looking very relieved when she had to skip off to Care of Magical Creatures.

The day wore on so slowly that I could have sworn each minute had been magically stretched into an hour. I did my best to take notes in class and everything, but between James and Severus it took all of my strength not to pull out my hair. I was sitting in the common room with my mates, thinking that I finally had a break from the awkwardness of the day, when the sex-god approached me.

"Alright, Evans? Is everybody enjoying their homework?" He said nonchalantly, sitting between Alice and I on the couch. James ran a hand through his hair and peered down at me from behind his glasses. Have I mentioned how stupidly sexy he looked in glasses?

"What's up, Potter?" I replied.

"I though you were the one who was insisting on using first names?"

"And I thought you were the one who just called me 'Evans' again."

James chuckled and stretched his arms over his head. "So I did, Ev- uh, Lily, so I did."

Ariel caught my eye and subtly pointed to James with her eyes. I turned just in time to see him attempt to put his arm around me. I roughly pushed him away.

"Nuh-uh, James. I'm beginning to regret this whole friendship thing."

He gave me an innocent look that was way too seductive for my liking. "Hey, Lily, I'm just being friendly."

"So when you sit next to Peter you put your arm around his shoulders?" I wittily responded. Well, at least I thought it was witty.

He smiled at me flirtatiously. "Ah, good point. Anyhow, when were you planning on leaving for Astronomy?"

I turned a page in my textbook. "At around eleven, why?" I replied, keeping my eyes away from him.

"Well, I was thinking that since we're the only Gryffindors taking it we might as well go together."

I bit my lip and didn't respond right away. I stared at the book, pretending to read. How in the world was I supposed to read about rare shrubs when the sex-god had basically just asked me to go to a class with him? Answer: I couldn't.

"Lily?"

"Hmmm, I don't know." I felt my lips twitch as his face fell.

"Oh, come on Lily, please? I don't want to walk all by myself in this big, dark, scary castle!" He widened his eyes and stuck out his bottom lip so that he looked totally pathetic.

"Just do it, Lily," Ariel said from behind her Defense Against the Dark Arts book. "Or he'll keep begging until I finally snap and kill him."

Macy snickered. "He's half dead already from discovering that he's not the most fanciable bloke in the school."

I expected James to scowl, but instead he just grinned at her. "Sorry, Rickman, but that's not altogether true. See, you only surveyed the lovely ladies of Hogwarts about Prometheus 'Pretty Boy' Cage. I guarantee that if you asked them about yours truly, they would give you very favorable answers. Well, favorable to me, that is."

He turned to me again. "So, Lily, what about it? It's not like we're galavanting off to a snog session; we're just going to class."

I blushed. "Well, I suppose so. But if you're not ready to leave by eleven I swear on Merlin's baggy trousers I'll leave without you."

He grinned in success "Brilliant. Meet you by the portrait hole, Ev-uh, Lily." He stood up and walked back over to the Marauders, who cheered as he threw his arms up in triumph.

I groaned. "Uhhhhhhh, I feel like a whore!"

Alice patted my shoulder. "Nope, that's still Roxanna."

I felt a weight on my lap and looked down to see Sylvester, my cat, curling himself up into a tiny ball, staring at me with his slim, yellow eyes.

"How are you doing, little man?" I asked him. He purred and rubbed his head on my knee.

"Sylvester doesn't think you're a whore." Macy assured me. "Just a sacrifice to save your smart, beautiful best friends from the annoyances of James Potter."

"I wonder why James is taking Astronomy?" Ariel mused. She marked her page and set her book aside. "I mean, the real reason. I've heard people ask him and it's a different excuse every time. 'Oh, it'll be an easy O.', or 'So I can sneak around the castle at night without getting in it deep'. I've even heard him say that it's so he can check out Professor Hayley."

Alice looked at me for a second before turning back to Ariel with a shrug. "Maybe he really _does_ want an excuse to sneak around the castle. I mean, the bloke has a thing for pranks and the like."

Ariel shook her head. "I don't think so. He's never had any qualms about getting caught before."

"Listen," I butted in, "There's no telling what he's taking it for. It's probably for some stupid reason, or maybe for no reason at all. This is _James Potter_ we're talking about, not some normal, sane person."

At eleven o'clock on the dot James met me by the portrait hole. He smiled when he saw that I was waiting for him, my eyes fixed on the face of my watch.

"Alright, Evans? Looking forward to class?" He asked as we walked out into the corridor. He hoisted his bag a little higher on his fit, muscular shoulder.

"Yeah. What about you?"

"Oh, I am definitely eager for it to start." He replied, grinning down at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Just remember that we're friends, James, as in 'If you wouldn't do it to Remus, don't do it to me.' Got that?"

His face grew serious, only the twinkle in his eye giving him away. "Yes, Ma'm!" He said, his hand at his forehead in a military salute. I rolled my eyes again but felt a smile coming on.

We arrived at the Astronomy tower in good time. I couldn't tell if we were early or late, since I had no idea how many students were taking the class. I glanced around and saw a few Ravenclaws standing by Professor Hayley, while a pair of Hufflepuffs stared down at the grounds, their elbows resting on the battlements of the tower. I walked to a spot along the chest-high wall where four long, gold telescopes sat on thin, matching stands. James followed me and lightly placed his finger on one of the delicate instruments.

His eyes widened and he instantly retracted his finger. I looked at him questioningly.

"It's hot." He whispered in my ear. I involuntarily shuttered as his breath tickled my face. Not because I was afraid of being murdered or something. Because he was so damn hot and his lips were so damn close to me I could practically feel them.

"Is it really?" I muttered back to him. He nodded and held up his finger, the tip of which had a small, round red mark that was slowly fading away.

"Gather around, ladies and gentlemen, gather around now." Professor Hayley suddenly spoke, her voice sounding abnormally loud compared to the quiet hiss of conversation and the soft blowing of the cool breeze. The Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and James and I stood in a semi-circle around Professor Hayley so that we all had a clear view of her. Professor Hayley was a very average sort of witch, of medium height and build, with dark, greying hair that she kept cut in a chin-length bob. While the average eye would show the signs of exhaustion at such a late hour, her dark brown orbs were bright with energy. Only her hair ad her wrinkles gave away her age. She straightened her hat before beginning again.

"Well, welcome to N.E.W.T. level Astronomy! I am very flattered that you all have taken such an interest in this subject to want to pursue it in a more in-depth matter, very flattered indeed. Though I must warn you, this class will be much more difficult than the Astronomy you have all grown accustomed to over the past five years." She looked around at us all very pointedly. "Because of the infrequency with which this class takes place, I will assume that you have come here strictly to learn, and that I can expect no trouble from any of you." As she said these last few words she stared directly at James, not even bothering to look as if it had been a random glance or anything. I couldn't help but glance at his face, expecting to see that stupid, make-the-girls-go-wild smile, but was shocked to see a look of complete and utter seriousness. I'm not even exaggerating when I say he looked like a completely different person. Yes, a hotter, even sexier, responsible man had apparently taken up residence in the body of James Potter.

Professor Hayley continued, apparently satisfied. "You have already studied the heavens through the means of a traditional telescope. In this way you have become familiar with the different planets and constellations, along with their magical properties. At this advanced level of Astronomy, we will be using very special, delicate, dangerous, and _expensive _instruments." She motioned with her hand to the gold things behind her. "These are Fortignoculars. They allow the viewer to see much deeper into the heavens than one can with a regular telescope. Believe it or not, there are constellations that are impossible to see without the use of a Fortignocular."

"Professor, how do they work?" Asked a Ravenclaw girl called Laura Claire.

Professor Hayley took a pair of thin, black gloves from the pocket of her robe and put them on her hands. She then picked up one of the sparkling instruments and held it so that we could all see it's shining beauty.

"Fortignoculars are made out of the purest form of gold. It usually takes a well-trained Gringotts goblin about two weeks to properly filter out all of the impurities. Then a very small amount to liquid diamond is added to the gold that makes up the lens tube, along with unicorn horn shavings and scales from a Chinese Fireball dragon. Other dragon breeds can be used, but the Fireballs usually produce the highest quality instruments."

I glanced up from my notes as she gently unscrewed the eye-piece so that we could see the inner tube. I gasped when I saw the small, dancing blue flames that surrounded it.

"The exterior tube is painted with a special glaze that contains powdered unicorn horn to strengthen the gold, but this will not prevent it from breaking if it is dropped or mishandled, so you really need to be careful with them. The inner tube is also glazed, then fitted with a special glass lens that is soaked in a secret liquid. The goblins refuse to tell us what the ingredients are, but I can assure you it contains some kind of mixture of plant secretions. As you can see, the inner tube is surrounded with Gubraithian fire. It heats the inner tube, which then comes into contact with the lens. The hotter the temperature, the further into space you can see."

She replaced the eye-piece and placed the instrument onto it's thin, fragile stand, almost as if it were a newborn child, before turning back to face the class.

"Now, because Fortignoculars are so costly, we could only acquire four, so you will need to split up into pairs. I will give you a moment to do that while I set these up around the tower to give you all some space."

I looked at James, a devilish smile playing across his face as Professor Hayley levitated a Fortignocular set with her wand and carefully made it follow her to the opposite side of the tower.

I looked at him and rolled my eyes. "So I suppose-"

"Hey, James!" An annoying voice behind me squealed. I spun around and saw two of the Ravenclaws and both of the Hufflepuffs standing behind me, fixing their hair and trying their best to look seductive. A Hufflepuff girl with red lipstick smiled and pushed a piece of yellow hair out of her face. "So, have you decided who you'd like to partner with yet?" One of the Ravenclaws lifted her skirt a few inches higher, while the dark-haired Hufflepuff folded her arms so that her chest looked bigger.

I felt an eyebrow raise of its own accord. "Who the bloody hell are you?" I asked them.

The blonde Hufflepuff sent me a quick glare before turning her eyes once more to my sex-god. "James, I'm Matilda Ross," She motioned to the other Hufflepuff, "And this is my friend, Ursula."

One of the Ravenclaws literally shoved Matilda to the side. "I'm Heather Brinks, and this is Barbra Droit, James. Either one of us would be a great partner for you because we're both very smart, so if you need help we'd be more than happy to-"

"I think we know what kind you help you'd like to give him!" Ursula snarled as she shoved the Ravenclaws back behind her. "But James deserves a lady, not a whore!"

"Why you little-"

"Ladies, ladies please, don't fight over me." James finally broke in. His eyes flickered to mine in amusement as he held out his hands. The girls instantly looked to him, their eyes growing wide and dopey. I could have sworn I actually heard one of them sigh.

I jumped when he clapped a hand to my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, but I've actually already told Lily here that I'd work with her. First-come, first-serve, darlings."

I turned in shock to protest, but I realized that it would actually be less annoying to be paired with James than with a James-Potter's-fabbity-fab-bum fan girl.

James grinned in apology as the girls sulked off and broke into their own pairs. "Sorry, girls, maybe next time!"

I smacked him in the arm. "You're unbelievable!"

He gave a short chuckle. "What, you'd rather be with one of them?"

I hit him again just a tad bit harder. "Shut it, Potter."

We walked over to a Fortignocular set, and once Professor Hayley had gone over all of the safety rules we were allowed to test them out. I carefully put on the elbow-length gloves, pulling them all the way up for the maximum amount of protection from the scalding metal. As instructed, I held out my arms so that James could check for any holes or loose threads. While it took everyone else about five seconds to check their partners, James spent about a good minute checking mine.

"Come on, Potter, stop arsing around, they're fine!" I told him as I watched the Hufflepuff girls use their Fortignocular to spy into the windows of the Gryffindor boy's dormitories.

After a quick once-over he let go of my hand. "I'm not arsing around, _Evans_, I'm checking for holes. Do you really want to get a third-degree burn on your palm because I wasn't thorough enough?"

"Just give me your arm." I took his hand and ran fingers all the way up to his elbow, searching with my eyes and my sense of touch for any imperfections. I tried to keep my thoughts professional, but his arms were so fit, and I could just picture them holding me and- No, no, no, no, and no, I was not going to think like that. I dropped his hands.

"No holes."

I turned toward the gleaming instrument and gently picked it up. I held it in my hands for a moment, admiring it's beauty, before I lifted it to my eye.

"What do you see?" James eagerly asked me.

I gasped as I focused the lens, seeing for the first time the crisp, clear outlines of a star. It was a beautiful, shining white ball of light dancing in the inky blackness that was the night sky.

"It's amazing, James!" I whispered as I slowly focused in the lens. It shot past the star into what seemed to be a completely different sky. The constellations were unfamiliar and strange, as if someone had taken a spoon to the sky and mixed it once or twice around.

I took the scope from my eye and looked at James. "You have to see this. It's incredible!"

I offered him the Fortignocular. When he put it to his eye he almost dropped it in shock. I realized that I hadn't unfocused the lens.

"Damn, James, I'm so sorry!" I apologetically said.

He made to wave his free hand but stopped short as he remembered that we had to hold the Fortignoculars with two hands. "Don't worry about it, Lily, it's unbelievable! Have you seen these new star patterns? And the detail, amazing!"

For the rest of the class we took turns looking through the Fortignocular and drawing what we saw on a large piece of parchment. By the time class was over, James and I had become familiar with the new star shapes and had even given a few nicknames. As we walked down the spiral staircase, I realized that I had been worried for no reason at all.

We were walking to the common room when James suddenly stopped.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, taking out my wand in case something was wrong.

He grinned at me. "No need to get dangerous, Evans. I think you can do without your escort for the rest of the night, eh?"

I put my wand back into my pocket and crossed my arms. "Wait, you're leaving me?"

He took a step and a half closer to me. "I knew you were a smart girl." He leaned his face down so close to mine that I thought he was going to kiss me. I tried my best to keep my composure, but when you think that a sex-god is about to kiss you, thinking can become a bit difficult.

"Well, where are you going then?" I managed to whisper.

James flashed a mischievous grin and backed away from me. "Oh, I don't know. I just fancy a walk."

"You're going to get detention, you know!" I called out to him.

"It's never stopped me before, love!" He replied as he disappeared into the darkness.

Hey, you wonderful people, don't forget to review review review!


	10. A Bump in the Night

**Hey everybody! So, I know I haven't posted anything in a while. Sorry! I have more planned for you, so don't worry, but here is the next chapter. It's kind of short, but I decided that what happens next in the story wouldn't really go with the rest of this chapter. But hey, be happy, this means that you get to read this much much earlier! Well, don't forget to review me! I wanna do you proud!**

Chapter Ten: A Bump in the Night

I rolled my eyes as I faced the empty stretch of hallway where James Potter had stood merely seconds before. With a sigh I turned in the opposite direction and began the lonely walk back to the Gryffindor common room.

As I passed painting after painting and door after door, I couldn't keep the sex-god out of my mind. James Potter! It was absolutely insane. There had to be something wrong with me. How else could I feel this way about him? And worse, how could I be okay with it? Because I had realized something during Astronomy as we gazed at the stars; I found that I could really imagine a life with James, outside of school and years in the future. I could imagine marrying him and living with him, walking through Diagon Alley holding the hands of our children as we went to buy their school supplies.

And you know what? I actually like it.

I passed a painting of a wizard dissecting a dragon leg and couldn't help but smile; it was the spot where James had first asked me out after Charms in our third year. Sirius, Remus and Peter were snickering together at the end of the hallway, shooting pink confetti hearts out of the ends of their wands at random passerby. I remember the look on Severus' face- THUNK

"Ahhhh!" I cried out as I felt my forehead pulse in pain. Due to my lack of attention I had walked right into someone in the dimly lit hallway. I pulled out my wand with my right hand and gripped my forehead with my left.

"Who's there?" I demanded, my eyes watering from the pain. Even though my vision was blurred, I could just make out an upright figure about ten feet away from me.

"Woah, Lily, relax, it's me." A horse voice replied. I thought I saw the figure lunge for me and in a panic I accidentally set a jet of red sparks at them. They dropped to the ground to avoid being hit in the face

"Aggghhh! What's the matter with you?" The voice yelled, only it sounded more familiar now. As my vision grew sharper I gasped as the person's face caught some of the light from a nearby torch.

"Severus! What are you doing here?"

He stood up, brushing off his pants. "I might ask the same of you." Then he caught me with that familiar stare, a gaze so intense I had trouble looking away.

"I have N.E.W.T. level Astronomy, not that it's any of your business." I told him as I looked at a spot just above his right shoulder. "Now if you'll excuse me." I made to walk past him but he grabbed my arm.

"Wait, Lily. Can I just talk to you? Please."

I turned toward him and sighed as I took in his pathetic look. "You have two minutes."

His swallowed and put a hand on my shoulder. "Lily. I know things are bad right now. I know what you think of me. But you have to realize, it's all for you."

I scoffed, "Yeah, Sev, you hate the Marauders for _me_."

His eyes narrowed and the muscles of his face tensed, but he shook his head. "No, I'm not talking about... _them_. I'm talking about- about my friends, like Avery. About the Death Eaters."

I raised my eyebrows and took a step away from him. "We're done here, Severus." I turned to leave.

"Lily, please!" He said as he followed me. "You have to realize it! If I'm a Death Eater, if I get into You-Know-Who's inner-most circle, I could protect you! I could save you from them!"

I whipped around, my hand now curled around my wand in a fist. "Who says I need you to protect me, huh Severus? Who?"

"No one, Lily, but I just-"

My voice was surprisingly calm. "You think I'm going to swallow that one? Really? You didn't join the Death Eaters because you want to protect me. You joined it because you think you're better than Muggles. Don't bother denying it either, Severus, don't you dare. I remember what you used to say about my sister, even if I was too stupid to understand it then."

Severus stood there with his hands open at his sides, his face pleading. "Lily, there's going to be a war. It's unavoidable and you know that there are going to be casualties. I don't care that you're a Muggle-born, I don't care that you hate me right now, but I could never live with myself if you were hurt because I didn't do enough to protect you."

I put a hand over my eyes and sighed. I was too tired to fight, too done with him to care. "We're done here, Severus. I'm just too tired to listen to this tonight. I'm just going to pretend we never ran into each other and go to bed, alright?"

Severus opened his mouth in protest but closed it again. I knew from the way he looked at me that he was hurt, but I held myself back from speaking to him. I turned and walked away, from him, going through four different corridors until I finally felt it was safe to stop. I leaned my shoulder against the wall by a window that overlooked the grounds. It was a full moon, and the grass in front of the castle shone silver from the glistening of dew and the soft glow of the moon. I stood there for a few minutes, just thinking about James and Severus and how screwed up my life was, when I saw a stag emerge from the Forbidden Forest. He was a beautiful creature, with a bright walnut coat that shone in the moonlight. Following him out of the woods was a huge shaggy black dog with paws the size of Mexico. For some reason I imagined that they were friends, and I laughed to myself as I imagined the conversations that would go on between a dog and a stag. Something else began to creep out of the forrest, and I eagerly watched it's progress until it was illuminated in the moonlight. With a small scream I covered my mouth with my hand: standing there by the stag and the dog was a fully grown werewolf.

I had never seen a real werewolf before, at least not a transformed one. It was large and thin, but very muscular, with shining yellow eyes and hair all over. I silently watched as it sniffed the air, the dog and the stag watching it carefully. Then, as it stood up on it's hind legs, the werewolf gave out a loud, dangerous howl. I don't remember running, but the next thing I knew I had come to a halt in front of the Fat Lady.

"Detergent," I panted, looking at the corridor behind me, half convinced that the werewolf was chasing me.

"You get some sleep, dear," the Fat Lady told me as she swung forward, "You look as though you need it."

"Good idea." I said as I climbed through the portrait hole. I quickly walked through the empty common room and dashed up the staircase to my dormitory. Once I was in the safety of my room I looked out of the window next to my bed. The dog, the stag, and the werewolf were all out there, running around and chasing each other, almost as if they were playing.

And that's when it hit me: Remus was a werewolf. James' nickname was Prongs, and Sirius' was Padfoot. Oh Merlin.

It couldn't be. It just couldn't. I stared at them, my brain buzzing with excitement. It was a wild and crazy idea. Too perfect to be true. Too perfect...

I shook my head. "Wow, Lily," I whispered to myself as I took off my sweater, "You really are tired." Of course I was running away with my imagination again. It couldn't be Remus, James and Sirius down there for two big reasons. First, I doubt that Dumbledore would allow Remus to roam around the grounds while he was transformed into a fully grown, dangerous wolf. Second, there were only three animals down there. If Remus was the wolf, James the stag, and Sirius the dog, where was Peter?

After a minute the wolf turned and ran into the forrest, the dog and stag close on it's heels. I shook my head again and collapsed onto my bed. I needed to sleep.

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	11. The Chocolate Dream

**Hey Guys! So, I just remembered about this piece of writing. I wrote this right after I wrote the second chapter, but just never really knew where I should put it. Well, I don't know about you, but I think that I've finally found a place for it! Enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

Chapter 11: The Chocolate Dream

I had the strangest dream.

I walked into Honeydukes, and there in front of me stood James and Severus, right next to each other, unmoving. As I walked closer to them, I realized that they were not the real James and Severus, but life-size chocolate sculptures of them.

The real James stood to the right of his chocolate double, and the real Severus stood to the left of his. They told me to taste their chocolate selves to see which one tasted better. Being a chocolate lover, I obliged.

First I tasted the chocolate Severus. Holding his chocolate face in my hands, I put my lips to his and bit. He was delicious, rich dark chocolate, slightly rough and a pinch too bitter. I took a second bite before taking a step back, licking my lips.

Then I tasted the chocolate James in the same way I had tasted the chocolate Severus. He was exquisite, a smooth, creamy milk chocolate that melted in my mouth. I could taste hints of peppermint and vanilla, and unable to resist I took a second bite, than a third, than a fourth.

The real James lifted me up and twirled me around, rejoicing that I had chosen his chocolate as my favorite. He put me down and kissed me on the mouth for what seemed like forever. I turned back to the real Severus, who was distraught over my choice. "What is wrong with my chocolate?" he cried. "Why isn't it good enough?"

I walked to him and put my arm around his sobbing frame. "There's nothing wrong with your chocolate," I explained to him, "It's delicious. It's all me, Sev. I like your chocolate, and I like James' chocolate, but James' just suits me more. Can you understand that?"

But Severus just stood there, sobbing uncontrollably, saying that it was my fault that he had made the chocolate anyway.

**Review please!**


	12. A Nice Place to Nap

***Hey guys, so first I have to apologize to you all for not writing a new chapter for so long. I got kind of stuck with this story, and I didn't know where to go with it. I hope you like this chapter, and I hope you will forgive me for making you wait for three years.

Chapter Twelve: A Nice Place to Nap

"Tired today, Lily?" Alice asked with a bemused look on her face.

"Yes, as a matter of fact." I replied as I pulled the cork out of the glass bottle in my hand. "What gave it away?"

"Well, you're pouring pomegranate juice into your cauldron."

"So?"

"It's supposed to be salamander blood."

"Oh bugger." I said, jerking my hand back. A small stream of clear red liquid splashed onto the table instead of into my nearly finished cauldron of Soothing Solution.

"I take it you had a late night?" Frank asked as he chopped a chunk of ginger.

"Quite late. I- _yawn _-got back from Astronomy and had some bizzare dreams." I looked to my left to see an equally exhausted James. "You look like you had a late night as well, James."

James turned to me as he stirred his potion and gave me a half smile. "I never actually got to the sleeping part. I had to attend to a few necessary nocturnal activities."

"Awww yeah!" Frank whistled as Alice and I rolled our eyes. But when I glanced at Remus' empty seat, I couldn't help but wonder of the exact details of Potter's sleepless night. As I turned to adjust the heat on my potion, I noticed Severus staring at Remus' stool. I fixed my face into a tired but relatively neutral expression as I ignored the fact that we were ignoring each other.

Dinner was slightly disappointing, as James had skipped off with nothing more than a cornbeef sandwich and the promise of an early bedtime. However, eight thirty brought the promise of a lot of alone time with one fine specimen of Hufflepuff.

I met Prometheus a few minutes before our planned meeting time, and after a quick explanation as to the "new and improved" patrol route, we were off.

Patrolling the corridors was just as boring as it sounded, consisting mainly of walking around the school and preventing petty fights and broom closet shags.

For the first few minutes we were silent, but soon Prometheus broke the ice by asking me about my classes. The conversation about school continued on for a bit, then the topic changed to jobs, then shops, then music and the Muggle world. Prometheus, being a pure-blood, was amazed by the simplest things that I would consider to be normal, like pens and refrigerators. I was also surprised to find that he was a huge fan of Muggle music.

"I know a lot of Muggle artists like The Beatles and Elton John, but that's just because they're so good that they're played on the Wizard Wireless Radio. Channel 99 is all Muggle music, you know!"

I laughed. "Finally, someone who listens to Muggle music! Where have you been all of my life?"

He looked at the ground as his cheeks turned pink. "Funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing." Our eyes met and he gave me a shy smile.

_CRASH!_

Prometheus and I ran down the corridor towards the noise. We stopped in front of a door and nervously looked at each other. As Prometheus reached for the doorknob, another smaller crash sounded inside of the room. With a flash he pulled the door open.

"Oi, can't a person get any privacy in this school?"

"Sirius?" I stood there open-mouthed, my wand held limply at my side as I stared into the broom cupboard. Sirius turned toward the doorway as a Hufflepuff girl behind him frantically attempted to button her blouse closed.

"Merlin!" Prometheus' eyes fell upon the girl. He looked to the ground and put a hand over his eyes. "Is that you, Regina? What in Merlin's name are you doing?"

"Well, I'd think it was pretty obvious," Sirius smirked, winking at Regina, "Wouldn't you say so, love?"

Regina looked at Prometheus with embarrassment and, giving up on trying to button herself, pulled the sides of her shirt tightly together and folded her arms across her chest. Biting her bottom lip she turned to Sirius. "I think I'm just going to leave now. See you later?"

Sirius grinned down at her and pecked her on the lips. "Of course, love. We have to finish what we started."

Blushing, Regina pushed past Sirius and out of the cupboard. As she passed Prometheus (who was still determinedly staring at the ground) she nodded at him "See you in Charms, Theo."

I was too stunned to do anything but look from Regina's retreating figure to Sirius' grinning face. Sirius pulled down the ends of his shirt, smoothing out the wrinkles caused by Regina's hands, and stepped nimbly from the cupboard without closing the door. As he looked down at me I could tell from his expression that he was going to say one of those stupid, smart-ass one-liners that always got him in detention.

"I sincerely apologize for what you had to witness there, Lily," Sirius said, his face solemn before it spread into a wicked grin, "but honestly, do you know how many Snog N' Shag cupboards there are in this castle that you and Prometheus here could have tried besides this one, which was, if I might say, obviously taken?"

I rolled my eyes. "Because the only place a girl would snog you would be hidden in a closet."

Prometheus glared at Sirius with a mixture of disapproval and embarrassment. "That was out of line, Black. Hasn't anyone ever taught you your manners? No matter, you can learn them on Saturday night while you're in detention. How does that sound?"

Sirius just yawned and began to walk backwards down the corridor. "Wonderful, darling. Shall I bring the candles?"

Prometheus scoffed. "Watch it, Black, or we can meet on Sunday night as well."

With a thumbs up and a wink Sirius turned the corner and was gone.

"Ooooh, he's just insufferable." I glared at the spot where Sirius had vanished. Turning to Prometheus, I gave him an apologetic smile. "He's so damn cocky that everything just bounces off of him."

Prometheus shook his head. "That was just awful. Tomorrow is going to be the most awkward day of my life. I've known Regina since we were kids. We live in the same town." He put a hand to his forehead. "Merlin."

I patted his shoulder. "It'll be okay."

He smiled at me and put his hands in his pockets. "We should probably get back to patrolling."

We walked back down the corridor and continued our patrol. As we strolled along, a question formed in my mind.

"So Prometheus, or Theo, can I call you Theo?" Prometheus laughed and nodded. "Well, _Theo_, you told me that I'm a candidate for Head Girl next year. If you don't mind me asking, who is the other girl they're considering?"

"I would absolutely love to tell you your competition, but Hermita would kill me." Theo shrugged. "She actually told me that, too."

"No problem" I sighed. "But I guess it wouldn't be fair of me to get a leg up on the competition."

When I climbed through the portrait hole into the empty Gryffindor common room, I fully intended on going straight to bed. As I put my foot on the first step of the girls staircase I felt a small something brush my side.

"What the- Oh come on! " I muttered as I saw a very small first year boy run a few more steps before falling on his knees and sliding to my feet as the staircase turned to a smooth stone slide. "What are you doing, you know boys aren't allowed up there! I'm a prefect, you know, you can't do things like this when I'm around." I spun as I heard a spurt of laughter behind me.

"Splendid performance, Edwin." Macy giggled. She poked her head up from behind an overstuffed couch.

"My pleasure, Miss." Edwin said with a grin. "Now, about my compensation,"

A silver Sickle flew through the air from behind a high-backed chair. Edwin caught the coin with both hands as the chair spun dramatically, revealing a grinning Sirius Black. "Good lad," Sirius said as Edwin ran up the stairs to the boys dormitories. "He's got promise, I can tell you that. Now, Lily dear, why don't you tell us about your lovely romp around the castle with that dashing git of a Hufflepuff."

"First of all, he's not a git. Second of all, why do you even care, it's not like it was a date or anything."

"Fine, tosser and romantic outing, it's all semantics." Sirius said with a wave of his hand.

"I can't believe you two paid an eleven year old to do that."

Macy giggled again. "Well it worked, didn't it? You're talking to us instead of flopping into bed. So just tell us!"

I scowled at the two of them. "It was fine, thanks. Theo is a very nice, interesting person."

"Theo? My, my, my, how chummy. And nice? Interesting?" Sirius shook his head. "You could just call him boring, you know."

"But he wasn't!"

"If he wasn't boring you would have more to say than a generic "nice and interesting". Sirius said pointedly. He rose from his chair and stretched his arms to the ceiling. "Well, that's all I need to know." He said after a yawn. "I'll see you lovely ladies in the morning."

I folded my arms over my chest and stared at his retreating figure. "He's unbelievable." I said once he disappeared up the spiral staircase.

"Unbelievably hot." Macy sighed.

I shook my head and followed her up to bed. I was too tired to say anything more.

Unfortunately, this became a semi-permanent pattern in my life, as Prefect duties, astronomy classes, and the overall advanced nature of N.E.W.T. courses sucked up more hours in the day than I would have preferred. It seemed that for the next four weeks, "tired" was my trademark emotion.: I yawned every other word, I dozed during lunch. Dark circles were now permanently inked under my eyes, like eyeliner gone wrong. I was surprised that I hadn't been mistaken for a vampire yet.

The only one who "woke me up", so to speak, was the insufferably attractive James Potter. I knew he couldn't fancy me now; after all, lately I had more in common with a zombie than a teenage girl. But every Astronomy class was a secret pleasure.

We didn't exactly flirt, but we also didn't act as "just mates". It frustrated me to no end, because for once in his life Potter was not flirtatious enough. His actions had a leg on both sides of the border, so to speak. Either he was purposely holding back, or I was just an idiot when it came to subtle flirting.

Or maybe he just wasn't interested in me like that anymore.

Let's be real, it was probably all of those.

After one particularly long Astronomy class, where we were required to chart the locations of a distant star cluster using the Fortignoculars in relation to the position of the moons of Saturn, I found myself in the Gryffindor common room, sitting on a couch in front of the warm, roaring fire, with James Potter's head on my shoulder.

"What are you doing?" I said, shrugging him away more out of habit than anything.

"I'm soooo buggered, Lily." He yawned and stretched his arms above his head, his chest straining against the buttons of his white shirt. I found myself hoping that they would pop off of that slightly too-tight shirt before I shook the image from my head. "What time is it? It's got to be at least five in the morning."

"It's three thirty-seven, actually" I yawned back. "But we've got to get this essay done. We still need to write about the magical implications of the distance of these stupid stars to eleven more moons."

"Can't we do it in the morning?" James said. He leaned away from me and put his gorgeous head on the threadbare arm of the couch.

"We've got classes, and I have Prefect duty, and you have Quidditch practice, and there's no time like the present, as they say."

"Whatever you say, darling." James mumbled. I poked him in the side to keep him from nodding off.

"Sleep later, James." I said. "I need your brain fully conscious and functioning for a bit longer, okay?"

We worked for half an hour, though it seemed to be ten times that long. I laid my wet parchment carefully to the floor and sagged back into the comfort of the couch. I could have dried the ink with magic, but I was so tired I didn't' trust myself. It would only take a few minutes for the fire to dry it, after all. James followed my suit, and laid his head once more on my shoulder. This time I didn't shrug it away.

"We have to be awake in less than four hours," I groaned.

James sighed, "Just enough time for a nap. Do you know what this couch is good for?"

"Please don't get gross."

"Naps." James said into my shoulder. His breath tickled my neck in a way that was not unpleasant. "N-A-P-S. Not sexy time, you dirty-minded minx. This couch – _yawn_ – is a nice place for naps A prime location for naps. One of the best."

I closed my eyes, which I knew was probably a Very Bad Idea. "Is it now?" I mumbled. "Do you have a lot of nap experience? Have you napped in so many different places that you know this particular couch is the best?"

"Believe it, love." James mumbled back.

And I was gone. The couch was too comfy and the fire was too warm and my eyes were too heavy and the hair on the head on my shoulder was too soft. I didn't wake up when I slid to my side, or when James slid with me, or when a blanket was draped over us by the gentle touch of a house elf, or when some time in the middle of the night my fingers found their way into the warm hand of James Potter.

******So, my lovely readers, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I don't know why it took me this long to write. Hopefully I will get better at not making you wait for years and years. Sorry, my loves.


	13. Lily Attracts Awkward

**A/N: Okay guys, so I'm really trying to be better about updating. I have a lot going on in life BUT I have a complete outline for this story that I plan on sticking to. This will help me organize my thoughts, which helps me WRITE FASTER. I hope you are enjoying this story, because it used to be my baby (and still is my baby) and I'm trying to do it justice. **

Chapter Thirteen: Lily Attracts Awkward

The first thing I was aware of upon waking up was that I was warm. I was warm, and comfortable, and very unhappy that a bright strip of light was shining through a window onto my face.

The second thing I was aware of was that an arm was draped over my abdomen.

The third thing I was aware of was that a blanket was draped over said abdomen and said arm.

The fourth thing I was aware of was that there should be no earthly reason why _a bloody arm should be draped over my bloody abdomen_.

I sat up in a flash, realizing that I was not in my bed but in the common room, shoved between the back of the couch and the sleeping body of James Potter. I looked at my watch and saw that it was five past seven. I ran a hand through my hair and glanced at James. His face was turned towards me, and the arm that was not encircling my abdomen was tucked against his shoulder. His hair was a complete mess, though that was pretty much how it always looked, and his glasses were neatly folded on the arm of the couch.

Suddenly realizing that I had spent the night with James Potter in a relatively public place, I glanced around the common room. I sighed in relief when I saw it was empty. My eyes came to rest on James once more, and I was overcome with a strong desire to run my hand through that messy hair. I reached out and brushed the dark waves, cursing soft his hair was. Why was it that boys always had lovely soft hair? I couldn't resist feeling the side of his cheek as well. Damn this boy and his soft hair and soft cheek and long, thick eyelashes, and unbelievably gorgeous lips that were practically begging for –

"Lily?" James mumbled. My hand froze on his head as I was paralyzed with fear. How was I going to explain to James why I was stroking his head while he was unconscious?

Before I could say anything, James tugged me back down to the couch. "This is definitely my favorite dream." He mumbled in my ear. "How do you manage to smell good in a dream?"

I froze as James nuzzled into my neck. This was Very Not At All Good. I was trapped next to a sex god (which was actually kind of nice) and there was no route of escape that would allow me to leave without waking said sex god (which was Very Bad) and _what was that poking my side oh Merlin I'm not even going to go there that is not a wand._

I had to think quickly, before some early riser came down to the common room and saw James draped over me like some kind of sexy boy blanket. I noticed that my wand had been wedged between my ribcage and the backing of the couch. I carefully retrieved it, thinking hard. I had a wand. I was still trapped by a sleeping sex god. I could think of something.

"Wingardium Leviosa." I finally whispered, my wand aimed at James' arm. Once his arm floated high enough, I sat up and inched my way to the opposite end of the couch. After placing a throw pillow next to the sleeping James, I reversed the charm and lowered his arm over the pillow.

I turned and all but ran up the stairs to my dormitory. Everyone was still asleep. For a moment I though of crawling into bed and going back to sleep until Alice shook me awake. It would have been nice to sleep again. And I admit that I _really_ wanted to sleep again. Instead I gathered my things and walked to the fifth floor, past the statue of Boris the Bewildered, and into the prefect's bathroom. I locked the door, filled the bath, and soaked for almost an hour until I was forced out by a Ravenclaw prefect who needed a wash before first period Arithmancy.

By lunch I seriously regretted choosing a bath over extra sleep when I tried to drink out of the salt shaker instead of my glass of pumpkin juice. I just wanted to sleep and maybe possibly definitely dream about cuddling with James on a floor made of pillows. Or a bed.

I shamelessly stared James for most of the day, imagining myself running my hands through that soft hair. I told myself it was like petting a dog, or a rabbit. A very sexy rabbit. It was lucky that everyone now knew me as "the tired girl" because they all thought I was just staring off into space without noticing what I was staring at.

I didn't talk to James until dinner, when he sat next to me after Quidditch practice.

"Thanks for keeping me awake last night, Lily," he said as he dumped a platter of chicken wings onto his plate.

"Thanks for helping me with the essay."

James smiled at me. "Anything for Evans, that's my motto."

I rolled my eyes. "That is not anyone's motto."

"Possibly Snivelly's motto" Sirius chimed in as he leaned towards James' plate from across the table.

James pushed Sirius' face away with one hand and pulled his plate with the other. "What time did we finish? All I remember is sitting next to you and talking about moons, then BAM – I'm laying on the couch half covered in a blanket and Sirius and Remus are shoving hot peppers up my nostrils."

"Not a pleasant way to wake up, we discovered." Wormtail snickered.

"You fell asleep. We had just finished, and I couldn't wake you, so I put your essay on the floor to dry and went to bed."

"But you left your essay on the floor too. It's a good thing it wasn't due until tonight. An even better thing that I picked it up." James said.

"Merlin, I forgot about it!" I put a hand to my forehead and cursed my stupidity.

"I've got your back, Evans." James grinned. "Even if you leave me to sleep alone in the middle of the common room."

"What was I supposed to do, carry you to bed?" I turned to him, resting my elbows on the table.

"Well," he said, mimicking my motions, "You could have joined me."

With a snort I turned away and picked up my bag. "I'm taking a nap before Astronomy."

"Do you know the best napping location in the castle? You wouldn't believe it."

"I know, I know, the red couch in the common room. See you later"

James grabbed my wrist. He looked at me with a bemused expression. "Are you sure you don't want me to join you?"

I laughed nervously, but convincingly. "In what universe would that actually happen?"

I was sleeping in my bed, blissfully dreaming about talking sunflowers and baby unicorns, when something crashed into me.

"GUESS WHAT I JUST HEARD!" Someone squealed in my ear. I opened my eyes and raised my head in confusion, worried that something was wrong, to find Macy sprawled on top of my body.

"Oh my God, no." I said. I pulled my head under the covers.

"The Halloween Feast is going to be a ball! A BALL! Did you hear me, Lily? A STRAIGHT-UP BALL!"

"I want to go back to unicorns." I mumbled.

Macy ripped the blanket from my weak grip and clapped her hands to her face. Her smile was almost nauseating. "And everyone who goes has to be in costume! Can't you just imagine the possibilities! My head's full of them already! You know, we could do a group costume, Roxanna and the minions are going as sexy magical creatures, what a surprise-"

"Why did you wake me up for this?" I cut in, rubbing my eyes. "It's too early to be excited about Halloween costumes."

Macy sat up, folded her arms, and raised an eyebrow. "It's almost three o'clock in the afternoon." I sat up too. There was no going back to the dream unicorns now.

"You're judging me, aren't you?"

"So hard." Macy said with a grin. "But forget that, there are more important things! Like what we'll wear to the ball, because Alice already told me that she's going to do something with Frank, so it's you, me, and Ariel."

"Does that mean it's not a couple's ball? We can just go with a group of mates?" I asked.

"Yup!" Macy nodded enthusiastically. "And I've got the perfect costume idea! Just leave it to me, we're going to look _so_ cute."

The Halloween ball was all anyone could talk about. I had to admit it was a big deal. Hogwarts didn't often host balls. If students wanted an excuse to rub against each other while listening to music, they had to get a Wizard's Wireless Radio and find a broom closet. While I looked forward to the ball, I also dreaded the ball. Or rather, the events leading up to the ball. Because I knew that every day the corridors would come to a standstill as boys tried to one-up each other by asking would-be dates with increasingly dramatic methods. I knew I would find at least five girls crying in the loos because the boys they fancied asked other girls. I knew that there was the possibility that a certain Gryffindor who often went by "Prongs" might maybe hopefully ask me to accompany him to the ball, or to meet him at the ball, or to hang out with him at the ball.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't _expecting_ it from James Potter.

It came as a shock when the person who asked me was not the sex god James Potter.

Theo and I were finishing a patrol around the castle three nights after the ball was announced. We talked about the ball, agreed that the food would probably be good, but less diverse than the typical holiday feast, expressed interest in the musical performance, and hoped that Dumbledore had arranged real pumpkin piñatas like last year. We were walking in past the trophy room when Theo casually said "So are you going with anyone?"

I blinked in confusion. "Sorry?"

He twirled his wand in his fingers. "I said, are you going with anyone. To the ball, I mean."

"Oh! No, just my mates." I replied. I felt a light heat creep up to my face and _really_ hoped I wasn't blushing.

"Well, I ask 'cause I was wondering, you know, if you would want to go with me." I looked at Theo, and when I met his bright blue eyes I knew I would start blushing, if I wasn't already.

"Oh. Well…" _Say something, you twat, don't just leave him hanging! _"I don't know. Have the other girls all got dates by now?"

Theo gave a short laugh. "I wouldn't know. I've only asked you."

I really didn't know how to reply. I wasn't a dating expert. I was better at Shield Charms, or dissecting rats for their livers, or eating brownies.

But I couldn't help but smile at him. "So you really want to go to the ball with me? This isn't a joke or anything?"

Theo grinned at me and lightly pushed my shoulder so that I stumbled a step away from him. "Damn, you saw through it, how did you know?" he said sarcastically. "Of course I want to go with you."

I looked at Theo and pictured myself entering the Great Hall with him. I pictured what it would be like to dance with him, to touch him, to kiss him. I'll admit that the pictures were rather nice. I just wasn't sure if I wanted those pictures.

"Would you completely hate me if I asked if I could get back to you on that?"

"Not at all." Theo replied with another smile.

"Thanks, Theo. You're so sweet. I'm just… I don't know, it's stupid. And complicated. I don't even really understand it." I muttered. "Just forget it"

Although he looked confused, Theo nodded. "Just let me know when you decide."

I didn't really want to go to the ball with Theo, despite the fact that he was hot, and available, and sweet. I wanted to want to go with him, but I couldn't stop picturing myself pulling James Potter by his scarlet and gold tie and snogging him senseless. I knew this when Theo asked me, I knew I should have said no. But there was a certain sex-god who still refused to flirt with me despite everything I threw at him. And by everything I mean that I wore my skirt three centimetres shorter than usual and took up the practice of smiling at him when he caught me staring at him.

Once I even managed to discretely brush his upper thigh in the common room as we sat next to each other on the floor filling in our Astronomy charts.

"James," I said as we mapped out the orbit pattern of a distant planet, "Can I look at your chart? I think I might have misnumbered the stars in this cluster."

"Sure, Evans." James replied without looking at me. I leaned over him, placing my left hand on his right knee for support. As I examined his star chart, I let my hand slowly glide down his leg until it sat about halfway to his hip. I felt the muscles of him leg stiffen beneath my hand and smiled in hidden triumph.

"Thanks, James." I said, leaning back and letting my hand linger for a moment before taking it from his leg.

"Happy to help." He said. After a moment he grabbed his bag and stood up "I'm almost finished, but I need to start that Herbology essay, so I'm just going to pop upstairs and grab the book."

"You can use mine, if you want." I said, reaching for my own bag. "I'm sure it's in here somewhere."

"Don't worry about it Lily, it's just upstairs, be down soon." James called over his shoulder.

I glared at the spot where he disappeared up the boys staircase with half a mind to follow him and hex his firmly toned arse for not acknowledging my feeble attempts at flirting.

I hoped that I would get better at the whole flirting thing, and fast, because it seemed that Roxanna was on a mission to go to the ball with _my_ sex-god. She touched his arms, played with his hair, laughed an adorable little laugh at all of his jokes, including the incorrectly played Muggle ones. In response James teased her, smiled at her, and rumpled his hair every five minutes in case it magically decided to become neat. It was getting annoying. Very annoying.

And I knew that technically James wasn't _mine_, but that's beside the point.

I needed to tell Theo that I couldn't go to the ball with him. Going with him wouldn't be right, not when I would be thinking about another person the entire time.

When I told him during out next patrol, he was understanding, but clearly let down.

"I just can't, I'm sorry." I told him, forcing myself to look at his face instead of the much-preferred ground.

"I understand." Theo said. "It's not a big deal. Don't feel bad about it."

I nodded, relieved that at that moment we stumbled upon a gaggle of second year Ravenclaws poking the empty background of a painting with their wands.

When our patrol was over, I walked back to Gryffindor tower, tired but relieved that Theo didn't completely hate me. I climbed through the portrait hole and went directly to bed. When I shuffled into the room I greeted Ariel, who sat against her headboard reading _Fantastical Creatures of the Mediterranean. _

"How did it go?" She asked me as I flopped face-first onto my bed.

"He's too nice for me anyway." I muttered into the sheets. I heard Ariel place her heavy book onto her nightstand.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

I sighed and flipped over so that I was on my back. "I just don't think it would be a good idea to go to the ball with Theo. I'm…" I hesitated, unsure of how to word my thoughts. "I've just been thinking about someone else lately, and it wouldn't be fair to go with Theo when I'm not thinking about him like that."

"Fair point, you don't want to lead him on," Ariel agreed, "but who is this mystery boy – or girl – who has stolen your attention? It's not Severus, is it?"

"It's not Sev." I said. "It's a _boy_, but I don't think it would be a good idea to tell you."

"Well why not?" Ariel said, a note of hurt in her voice.

"You're going to laugh at me, it's ridiculously uncharacteristic of me." After promising not to laugh at me and to keep her mouth shut, I told her.

"Stop laughing, you promised!" I shouted, bashing Ariel over the head with a pillow.

"Shhhh, someone will hear you!" Ariel giggled, "Then you'll have to explain that you're mad at me for laughing because you fancy _James Potter_!"

"I hate you."

"I'm sorry! It's just – you have to appreciate the poor timing! You start fancying him just as he stops fancying you!" Ariel rolled on her side as she fought to stop giggling. After hitting her once more with my pillow (which just made her laugh more), I sat on my bed again.

"Why don't you just tell him?" Ariel suddenly asked.

I looked at her and frowned. "I couldn't do that. If he's really stopped fancying me I'd look like a complete fool."

"It would be simpler than all this dancing around each other, though." Ariel mumbled, more to herself than me.

Although I'd rather kiss the giant squid than admit it, I had to agree.

**Okay, guys! I hope you all liked it! This chapter didn't go exactly as planned, but I did the best I could while trying to write semi-quickly for you! Remember to leave comments, I always appreciate the criticism, and let me know if you like where this story is going or not! Thanks to everyone who has read, followed, and favorited this! I love you all, babes.**


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